Hurricane
by devilsliveindakota
Summary: Based on 30 Seconds to Mars' Hurricane video. What happens when you throw E&B into a BDSM video shoot for his band when they have a very rocky past? Rated M for Rockerward, abuse & violence. Jared Leto is our Edward :P
1. Prologue

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**_LiveInDakota_: Helloo! Welcome to our little adventure :)**

**A consuming love for a certain Mr. Jared Leto and, of course, our Edward brought this little fic to life. *Le sigh* at the thought of those two things being put together…Well, no need to imagine because it's here!**

**We both hope you enjoy this…we don't promise it to be all sunshine and flowers because if any of you know anything about J.L then y'all know his songs aren't exactly light and fluffy. We hope we do it justice and manage to convey just how hot this guy would be if he actually existed :P**

**We disclaim, of course…you know it's not real :P**

**Enjoy!**

**_devilsgenie_: I think LiveInDakota covered the main points.**

**Just a quick thanks to Kherisma, jakeward & SassyGeminiMom for their wonderful skills.**

**We hope you like it!**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

She angled her head so that her dark, flowing hair created a curtain around her. She wanted to hide from the crowd around her, more than bored by their stares and fake civility. The alcohol in her hand was chilling her fingers, but she reveled in it, appreciating that she felt something soothing instead of biting against her skin.

She looked up; knowing a gaze not unknown to her was fixed on her bowed head. It felt familiar somehow, yet when their eyes locked, there was no personal familiarity between the two. Of course, she knew who he was, she doubted any person in the room didn't know who he was, but that didn't mean she knew him.

In her world, the two differed like night and day. They all had masks, projections and secrets, and each of them was as pretend as the next. She had found herself growing used to it, it was all she knew in her life now.

Isabella Swan had a serious past, her father, a decorated FBI agent had been gunned down during a raid, and after that, young Bella had to fend for herself. Her mother had been a good woman while her father was alive, but once he died, she turned to drugs, struggling to cope with a young daughter.

Bella grew up fast. Drug dealers and hard characters became a part of her daily routine; men making it look like a half-way house with their comings and goings. Bella knew what was happening but turned a blind eye. These were the type of men who lashed out at little girls who paid too much attention.

Mere months after her father's death, she had to then deal with her mother's. It seemed like no time at all after the measly funeral that she was in foster care. She was shipped from house to house, living with abusive, drug addicted or alcohol addled parental figures that made her into the fucked up person she became.

Once Bella turned eighteen, she went to live with the first of a series of abusive boyfriends. At first, Paul was like any other caring and doting lover, but it wasn't long before she pissed him off, that he slapped her around until she ended up in a corner looking like a ragdoll. Because Bella didn't remember much of what her father had been like with her mom, she thought that with being in a relationship, the abuse was a normal part of it.

Sick of the scene in New York, Bella bit the bullet and hopped on the red-eye to Los Angeles, leaving the latest of addicted abusers behind her. It wasn't long before she landed a gig as a rockabilly style clothes model for Stop Staring! She came out in a couple of their spreads, and a few months later was noticed by a number of agencies, namely Volterra.

_Volterra._ The hierarchy of modelling started with them right at the top. Alec Montage was the man in charge, the man who always got his way. A man of fine taste and used to never hearing the word no. From the moment she walked through those doors, he had set his sights on Bella Swan. She'd become the first woman to ever say no to him, and he took it as a game of cat and mouse.

Bella knew that Alec was the kind of a man that no one messed with, but she still decided to get involved with him. She knew it wasn't coincidence that the flood of phone calls and offers came through the same day a picture hit the web of her hitting a club on Alec's arm.

Companies and men alike wanted her in their music videos, on their catwalks and in their catalogues, how could she say no? She was living life fast and wasn't afraid of dying young. In fact, she welcomed and wished for death, just to take her away from the pain that had become her life.

In the beginning, everything with Alec seemed okay, as it had been with every other man in her life. They were always caring in the beginning, still courting and showing their supposed good side. Soon though, simple mistakes weren't just reprimanded with simple talk. They became slams against the wall, hair pulling, and punches to the gut.

With every slip of the hand, and every beating, there followed a showering of lavish gifts that, in her eyes, showed signs of remorse for what he'd done to her. Funny, it seemed that every time he flew off the wall, he never once touched her face. No, he always either went for the stomach or took it out on her roughly with sex, so rough that Bella would later cry when going to the bathroom.

Yet, after all that, she stayed. She knew that he had become her meal ticket. Leaving Alec would mean leaving the modeling world. It would mean finding a different means to putting food on the table, it would mean leaving the wonderful house Alec had 'let her borrow' in Malibu off the pacific coast. It would mean getting rid of all of the material things; the days spent at the spa, and the days shopping on Rodeo Drive.

Eventually Bella had realized that she was selling her soul, her body, and herself in order to keep and maintain the lifestyle that she was leading. Of course, in the public eye Alec was the perfect boyfriend, taking her out to dinner, and lavishing her with attention. The media played it up as her own dream come true, some sort of knight in shining armor who'd saved the girl. That was all it took for the world to turn a blind eye to the things he did behind closed doors.

When a picture surfaced of Bella changing behind the scenes of a shoot, her midriff black and blue, Alec had been first to speak out. She wasn't allowed to speak for herself, or convey her disgust over her invasion of privacy, because Alec had to be in control. When he opened his mouth, playing his part of the doting boyfriend perfectly, the world drank in his words. It would have seemed absurd to them that the man trying to protect her privacy, was, in fact, covering his tracks.

It became clear to Bella then, that it would always be her word against his, and that their "friends" and colleagues would always choose him.

With a quick shake of her head, Bella returned to the present. Showing up at one of the many party's that this rock band, Fascinate, had thrown just this year. Alec always told her that not only would it be good for her publicity, but to establish new contacts as well.

That's probably what _he_ believed, too, she thought as she stood at the bar. However, when the rock star's eyes travelled to Alec by her side, they narrowed, and she could have sworn he _knew_. His piercing gaze seemed to drink her in when it floated back to her, from head to toe, as if he could see through the flowing gown on her body.

She felt warmed, even from a distance. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the kindness she found in the green depths on the other side of the dance-floor. Yet, she knew there was something wrong with that scenario. He had a reputation, too. How was he any better than Alec? At least Alec was faithful, she thought with distaste.

Bella bristled under her admirer's attention. She had to act the part in more ways than one, and turning her nose up at another man's attention was part of it. Her stance and posture screamed that she knew all about him, wasn't interested and couldn't care less that he was watching her from across the room.

Bella thought back to the day her best friend had found out about her life behind closed doors. Alice Brandon, designer extraordinaire, was visiting her at their mansion while Alec was still in the office.

Unbeknownst to the girls, Alec was having a terrible day at the Agency, with designers not wanting to pay what they'd promised, lawsuits going down the hole, and more models not taking enough care of themselves. He just wanted to go home, hoping to find dinner on the table and whiskey in his glass.

However, when he arrived, he saw Bella sitting on the couch, glass of wine in hand. Alec saw red when things weren't how he wanted, and on top of the bad day at the office, his anger boiled over.

He had grabbed Bella by her hair and screamed, asking why she didn't have dinner ready. Bella was trying to explain when he kneed her in the stomach, showing his distaste for excuses and more time wasting.

When Bella fell to the floor; he began to repeatedly kick her over and over, blinded by his rage. Alice walked into the room and screamed at the top of her lungs - she never would have believed that Alec was beating Bella if someone had told her, but her eyes weren't deceiving her.

Alice later told her she would never forget the crazed look in his eyes when he noticed her interference. He was frighteningly calm as he warned her not to mention anything, stating that he could destroy her career at the snap of his fingers.

She ignored him, grabbed Bella, and left without a word. She took her to her boyfriend's house, which she believed to be safe, hoping Bella would find some refuge to calm the storm of her life. She knew she'd failed in her duty as a best friend. She shouldn't have missed something of that magnitude, and she felt compelled to help any way she could.

Despite all of Alice's attempts to get Bella out of her relationship, she knew she was going to return, turning a blind eye to the dark monster within. Bella couldn't be budged, having accepted her horrible reality, and wouldn't be swayed by talks of something that would never be.

It only took two days before she returned to Alec. To say that she'd been beaten up that night would be a terrible understatement. She hadn't been able to get out of bed the whole day after. She knew it was getting worse, the abuse, and yet Alice seemed to see her skip on home anyway. She couldn't figure out why she would return, and was saddened that she could no longer see the girl she used to call her best friend.

Instead of jewelry, Bella was presented with a housekeeper, Alec knowing she could barely do anything. This was his way of showing his remorse, she thought. She tricked herself into believing he cared and he wanted to take care of her.

She looked at the man by her side, trying to forget the things Alice had said to her, the things she'd tried to convince her of. Alec _did _care, and he was a good man. Just the fact that he brushed his fingers down the side of Bella's arm while he stood deep in conversation proved to her that he knew she was there. He wasn't ignoring her or disrespecting her, he was simply a very successful, very busy man. She could appreciate that.

She smiled when he looked across at her and played the dutiful girlfriend, fetching him another drink and standing quietly by his side as he conducted his business. She tried to ignore her nagging thoughts as _his_ eyes kept catching hers from across the room. He hadn't moved, and he seemed oblivious to the stream of women parading past him, hoping to be asked for a dance.

She also tried to forget the way Alec looked when he hit her, as if it somehow made him feel better. She believed he was sorry afterwards, but during, it chilled her to think he enjoyed it, that he got some sort of thrill from the control. She knew that things weren't normal if it didn't happen to every woman, and despite knowing Alice was right, she never spoke up.

She spent most of her nights lying awake, listening to the sounds of the ocean and Alec's snores. She tried to remember, or maybe even imagine a time when things weren't so complicated. She tried to remember her father, and tried even harder to remember the things he'd told her.

When she finally fell asleep she would have dreams that weren't quite clear, like they belonged to her in another life. Yet there she was, every night trying to remember how things were, how her father was, and how her father would feel about the man lying next to her. She was never able to come up with any solid answers. What she did discover was this burning rage, this fire inside her that wouldn't be extinguished easily, and she didn't know what to do or how to deal with it.

When she caught_ his_ eyes, again, she realized that her façade was slipping. She was usually so good at hiding her feelings, at pushing down the building anger inside her, but somehow she knew he was on to her, as if he could see everything she was trying to keep secret.

~Hurricane~

Edward Cullen was a smart, if not complicated, man with a haunted past. He wasn't unfamiliar with pain or suffering, either. He also wasn't a stranger to the law, carrying a criminal record over his head, having once been convicted of aggravated assault as a teenager.

Watching the dance floor, he found himself glued to the spot. There were plenty of conquests to be had that night, but he couldn't see any of them past her. Sure, he knew who she was, everyone knew that face, that body, but looking at her for the first time in person was telling him more than he'd ever have guessed at.

She was bottling something up, anger, if he wasn't mistaken. The fire bubbling below her surface was almost hypnotic to witness, and he found it hard to believe that no one else had ever noticed. Yes, that was it, she reminded him of himself.

It wasn't that Edward had anger issues; it was just that he was never one to back down from a fight, or from defending what he thought was right. The way Edward saw it, he never had a chance. His mother was a high class call girl that had gotten pregnant by one of her clients; at least that's what she told him. His grandmother told him it was because his mom was lonely and wanted at least one good thing in her life.

His mother Elizabeth decided to get pregnant by her most favored client, Edward Masen. According to his grandmother, Edward was a kind and gentle man who had lost all faith in relationships because of his past, but it didn't stop him from helping Elizabeth when she proposed conceiving his child.

Edward had offered to get Elizabeth out of the business, but she refused because it was the only life she knew. He later simply offered to help with the upbringing and care of her soon to be born baby, but still she told him that he didn't have to feel obligated to do anything. She just wanted someone to care for, to fill the empty void in her life.

When Edward Jr. was born, Elizabeth hoped that he would be much like his father. Edward Sr. helped her with money, and anything else that her young son would need. Despite the many times Elizabeth insisted that she didn't need his help to raise their son, there he was, quick to come over with some groceries or a new outfit for his him.

When Edward was four years old, his father died of a heart attack. He remembered going to the funeral, and what it meant to him and his mother. What he didn't understand when he was there, was why some people were looking at him and his mother the way they were.

The only people happy to have them there were Edward's parents, Esme and Carlisle. Esme and Carlisle had heard that their son had made them grandparents, and that the woman, Elizabeth, didn't want to marry him. They seemed to understand her decision, and were confident that despite not being ready for the commitment, both would be amazing parents to young Edward.

Edward always experienced the same crushing sensation, as if a lead weight was resting on his chest, when he thought about his family. Seven years later, at only eleven years old, his mother was on her way to pick him up from his grandparents' house when she was robbed at gunpoint.

The police later told him that she had tried to fight off her assailant, only to be killed by a stray bullet. Her attacker hadn't meant to kill her, but the jury saw it Edward's way. His mother was murdered, there was no sugar coating the loss he had experienced. James Hunter was sentenced to life, but it did nothing to quell the anger that settled inside him.

His grip on the glass in his hand neared crushing point as Edward tried to calm his erratic breathing and heartbeat. His base guitarist shot him a concerned look, but he was too busy studying Miss Swan to notice. When she looked back to him, he found the calm he needed.

Her heart-shaped face and troubled eyes reminded him of the  
>pictures he'd seen of his mother. Instead of making him angry, or sad, however, it settled something inside of him.<p>

Edward had no way of knowing that while he set her on an undeniable edge, she had the complete opposite effect on him.

He knew he had begun to act out and was hanging with the wrong crowd after his mother's death, but at the time it was the only way to satiate the part of him that screamed for attention. He was too young to stop and realize that it was missing his mother that made him feel that way.

After ending up in juvie more than once, Carlisle had put his foot down and forbade Edward to see his thug friends from his old neighborhood. His grandfather had always taken great interest in Edward's musical flair as he grew older. He had witnessed the calming effects music had on his troubled young soul, and after another run-in with police, Carlisle had an idea. He had promptly enrolled Edward in music classes in hopes that his demeanor would soon change.

They didn't speak much after Edward's run-ins with the law, but that didn't mean that Carlisle didn't try every day. Edward had heard the time's Esme had begged her husband to have patience with their grandson; saying she knew he had a good heart, but it was Edward that needed to realize that. He'd only roll his eyes and block them out back then, but when he thought back on it, he knew their unwavering support was the only reason he stood where he was now: successful, famous, and surrounded by beautiful women.

As he'd learned to play and began toying with music, he realized he had a knack for creating new sounds. It was then that he met two guys that helped him realize the effective outlet at his fingertips.

Jasper and Stefan were two loners in a school full of social butterflies. Yes, they were talented, and knew that most of the performances that the school put together wouldn't have been half as successful had they not been in on it. Yet somehow, they both managed to be outsiders in a world where they would normally be kings. When they heard Edward playing his piano, they knew that there was something deep there, something they could use; something that they could all create together.

It wasn't his only instrument. Stefan would spend hours mocking him for the fact that he could play the violin, but further down the line, it helped them in writing their own songs. His piano ability only solidified the success they had at songwriting, so when Stefan picked back up on mocking his best friend, Edward would only laugh and allow him his fun.

When both Jasper and Stefan had approached him, he hadn't known what to expect. But on hearing their idea, he was more than curious to find out what they had in mind. After weeks of brainstorming, playing with different melodies and writing and rewriting songs, they finally had their first set.

He looked at the guys flanking his side and remembered the way they had practiced, played and performed - for what seemed like days - until they landed a spot at a local bar. They played their set of songs, and were asked by the manager to return the next week for another set. Playing at the bar had probably been their biggest accomplishment, but they always knew they were meant for bigger things. One night after their performance, they were approached by a record executive. Said record executive turned out to be Liam O'Connell, the same mastermind behind the Kings Of Leon and as far back as Nirvana.

The rest, as they say, was history. Liam had done more for them than anyone else in their path to fame. Men in suits and power hungry women alike had tried to approach the three of them, many had even tried to break them up, but Edward realized his two friends were the only thing real he had left in his life.

As he watched Jasper hit on yet another unsuspecting brunette, he smiled, knowing his life was good, knowing he had everything they had worked so hard for, and knowing his two best friends could always be there should he need them.

He disposed of his empty glass on a passing waiter's tray and kicked off the wall he had been leaning against. What was a party without a girl on his arm? Looking back to where the best looking girl in the room had been standing, he felt disappointment settle in his stomach when he noticed she had disappeared.

It wasn't because he cared; it was because he had wanted to rock the boat. Something wasn't right between her and Alec, and he had wanted to see her "boyfriend's" reaction to him spinning her around the floor a little too closely.

It seemed he wasn't going to get the chance, however, and settled on the blonde nearest to his arm. It was too easy, really. He flashed his smile, swept his hand through his hair and asked her for a dance with an appraisal that was far too obvious.

_They're all the fucking same_, he thought. Sometimes it felt too easy.

He smirked when Stefan did the exact same thing, and it didn't take long before the two of them had two girls each and were on their way back to the bar.

These were always long fucking nights, and Edward always hated them, but when in the 'business' you had to show your face and your appreciation – as Liam said, anyway. There couldn't very well be a ball for their contribution to music if they didn't fucking show up.

Edward had tried to argue that point, but Liam heard nothing of it. They had to be there, so there was no fucking way he was going through it alone. Let them say what they fucking liked, both girls who were battling their eyelashes and jutting out their fake tits were going home alone at the end of the night.

He threw back another scotch and headed outside for a smoke, needing to get the frustration out of his system. A couple of girls giggled annoyingly as he brushed past them, but he ignored it, sick of the whole scene, and picked his way through the crowd - he was leaving it all behind.

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><p><strong>Author's Chapter End Notes:<strong>

**Thoughts? We'd Love to know what you all think about it. Thanks for reading :)**

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**xx**


	2. This Is Just The Beginning

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Well, after all this waiting, here we are, Chapter one. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviews, we highly enjoy your thoughts!**

**Thanks to SassyGeminiMom, kharisma and jakeward for their wonderful skills!**

**As per usual, it's not ours, because if it was we would totally be able to afford a flight to meet each other ;)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – This is Just the Beginning<strong>

Edward pulled his pack of smokes and Zippo lighter out from the glove compartment of his sports car. He leaned back out from the open passenger window, and as he lit the cigarette he saw Bella leaving with Alec. He noticed that Alec looked irate, and Bella about ready to snap. Slowly beginning to walk towards them, a sudden curiosity drove his steps as he felt the need to hear what was being said.

"I already told you, Alec, I have no clue who that guy was. I don't know why you're freaking out over a guy who glanced at me from across the room," Bella said; her façade slipping quickly.

She didn't know how much longer she'd be able to play the silent, obedient girlfriend. She knew she had never been a good liar, but years of practice helped her play her part well; until now. The fact that she was lying about Edward put her on edge, and she heard the waver in her voice.

"I _know _you know who he is, you stupid whore." Edward heard him say, as Alec grabbed Bella's hair and pulled it away from her head. "I saw the way that you looked at him."

Bella shuddered because she knew full well what he was capable of. In fact, she was already preparing herself mentally for the beating that she was sure was coming. She was going to snap soon, and she needed to distance herself from the situation before things got worse.

Edward leaned up against a nearby tree, trying hard to look nonchalant, and picking his spot carefully so he could hear Alec's voice as it carried across the lot. Anger was coursing through his veins as he watched their interaction, his teeth grinding as he saw Alec yank at Bella's hair once again. He continually clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides as he debated interfering. He knew his show of nonchalance was slipping when in reality he only wanted to hurt Alec for treating Bella the way he was. He didn't understand this feeling, this attraction that he had for her, and frankly it scared him. He saw the way Alec pulled Bella's hair, and how he growled harsh words into her ear; he wanted to kill him.

It didn't escape his notice that this was the closest he had come to losing his cool in nearly a year. This seemingly oblivious girl was getting under his skin, causing anger he had battled to control to bubble to the surface. His thoughts were scaring him; he didn't want to hold back. If he had his way, his years of therapy would be thrown out of the window, and no one would be able to hold him back. This Alec guy was testing his limits.

Edward growled in frustration. All this over a chick. What the fuck was Bella Swan doing to him?

"Look, Bella," Alec growled, leaning into her. "I just want to know where you know him from, that's all." Bella nearly rolled her eyes; not too long ago she would have fallen for the innocent tone in Alec's voice.

"I told you, Alec, I don't know him," Bella spat back at her boyfriend.

"You're lying!" His patience was definitely slipping; Bella could see the act crumbling. "He practically eye-fucked you from where he was standing! Don't tell me he doesn't know...this!" Alec waved his hand the length of Bella's body, causing a shiver to run up her spine. It wasn't a new thing - for him to accuse her of being unfaithful - but that didn't mean she got used to it.

Fuck, she had thought about it, but the mere thought of him finding out, however, and his severe punishment, was enough to stop her from even looking at another man the wrong way. Her act in front of the man in question - Edward Cullen - was all a show. How she had managed to hide the way her body reacted to his stare, was beyond her. She may have seemed uninterested, but she couldn't ignore the heat that rolled over her skin when his eyes met hers. She had never reacted in such a way before, and Edward Cullen had earned his place on her "avoid" list - he was definitely a man she needed to steer clear of.

"Alec, of course he recognized me, I'm a model. Complete strangers know who I am," she said sarcastically, thankful she had managed to answer at all.

Bella knew she had slipped up. By the look in Alec's eye - she knew he had caught on. She may not know Edward Cullen personally, but she _wanted _to. She saw the change in him almost immediately, having trained herself to see the signs. Within the blink of an eye his hand raised, ready to strike her. For once, however, Bella stood tall - she was tired of cowering from his blows. It seemed like she had made the wrong choice, though, because his anger only grew with her show of bravery.

She stood there, with her shoulders squared, her fight mechanism having kicked in. _Better late than never,_she thought. She was sick of this lie, and she was more than ready to fight for her freedom. For once, she wasn't afraid of what would happen to her career or of how she would survive. She knew she could make things work, even if it meant waitressing for the rest of her days.

She wasn't naive, she knew walking away from Alec would mean losing everything, but for the first time she thought making her own way would be better than having all her doors already opened for her. He was nothing but venom, and getting him out of her system could only prove to be a good thing.

Edward had to physically stop himself from launching towards them when he saw him pinning her against his car. Bella's fear spiked when Alec smiled maliciously down at her. His alcohol-addled breath washed over her when he whispered, only heightening her discomfort.

"You're going to regret doing this. You're mine and only mine, even if I have to kill you to keep it that way."

Edward kept his eyes on Alec's back, afraid to blink in case he missed something. He looked ready to pounce, and even from across the parking lot, Edward could sense Bella's luck was running out. He took his last drag from his cigarette, and decided he'd seen enough. Maybe if he got over there before he witnessed Alec hurting her, he'd be able to help and walk off without getting himself in trouble.

His therapist had always told him to think of the consequences before engaging in anything, and so it was with thoughts of his career, his reputation, and his friends that he stepped out of the shadows and headed towards the frightened brown-haired girl.

Oblivious to Edward's approach, Alec swung, his hand connecting with Bella's face. Not content with his damage, Alec used his left fist and connected with the opposite side of Bella's jaw. Her head jerked from side to side against his car, his blows similar to that of his workouts with his punching bag. She'd been reduced to that on plenty of occasions, but Bella knew this was different.

Edward's feet propelled him forward, his blood pounding in his ears at the disbelief and anger that coursed through his veins. He pulled Alec off a trembling Bella, and punched him as hard as he could. His whole body shook with rage as the fucker stumbled backwards and landed on the asphalt.

He yelled out in surprise and pain as the breath was forced from his body with the force of his fall. Edward's eyes flicked to Bella, but when Alec moved in the corner of his vision, he descended back on his enemy. Straddling him, his fists took on a mind of their own, repeatedly cracking his knuckles against jaw and cheekbone, before Alec managed to block him with his arms. He kicked out at his attacker ineffectively, groaning when his attempts proved futile.

Edward ignored the stabbing pain in his fists as he grabbed Alec's hair at his temples, and bashed his head against the cold concrete. Blinded by his rage, Edward didn't even register that his eyes had rolled to the back of his head. He kicked at the pathetic waste of humanity below him, reveling in the sound of ribs splintering under his boots. He was too far gone to realize Alec wasn't crying out in pain, trying to shield himself from the attack, or even trying to move at all.

Bella watched in horror as Edward's assault didn't slow - she wondered if he was even breathing through his obvious exertion. She'd always had an intolerance for blood, so it wasn't surprising that she noticed the red seeping from under Alec's head, creating a shining dark pool on the already dark ground.

She stepped over to the man who had released her confidence, wincing as she moved her head too quickly. She tried to stop him, grabbing his arms and asking him to desist, but it seemed like an age before he finally looked up at her. His eyes fixed in on her, but they were vacant, as if he wasn't truly seeing.

"Stop!" Bella began to shake him, asking him time and again if he could hear her. He finally nodded his head to say yes. As soon as he had calmed, she looked down at Alec, noticing with both relief and dread that he wasn't moving. She also noticed the large pool of blood that was still actively flowing from his head, and proceeded to check his pulse; there wasn't one.

She started to hyperventilate. Her ears registered someone scream until she realized the sound had emanated from her, causing her to clamp her mouth shut - terror would have to wait for later.

"You killed him!" Bella choked, looking desperately at Edward. "What are we going to do?" She couldn't seem to shake the hysteria from her voice, betraying all sense of calm she was trying to hide behind.

Edward stared into Bella's heart-shaped face, finally taking inventory of the damage Alec had inflicted. He silently berated himself for letting the bastard get even a word in before he had come to her rescue. Her face was slowly beginning to darken and swell, casting shadows in the waning light that wouldn't otherwise be there. The cuts on her slender cheekbones looked out of place, marking her otherwise flawless skin. He clenched his jaw as his eyes soaked up every detail - he couldn't wrap his head around Alec's capability to cause such a beautiful creature harm.

He was trying to think of what to do, but it was proving to be harder than he thought with his rage and her beautifully sad face disrupting his thoughts. Suddenly Edward pulled his mobile out, sent a text message and quickly pocketed it.

"Help me get him into the passenger seat of the car. Hurry!" he ordered in a cold tone. Bella shivered, his clearly darker side having taken over - she was no longer sure just how much safer she was with the man in front of her.

"Now, Bella!" Her brain completely ignored the fact that he had called her by her preferred nickname without having ever spoken to her, and she jumped into action, her adrenaline pushing her through.

Together they struggled to get Alec's lifeless body into his own car. Edward needed to get rid of the evidence as fast as possible, and temporarily storing it out of sight was his only option. Bella was still unsure of what the plan would be, but figured that whatever Edward had in mind was going to have to work. She had no choice but to trust the dark angel standing beside her, because whether he had realized it yet or not, he had taken everything away from her.

She knew her previous thoughts of surviving without Alec were about to be put to the test. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, that she didn't see the man that approached them. She was ready to scream, but was stopped by Edward's warm hand clamping gently over her mouth.

"Don't scream, he's here to help us," Edward said, looking deeply into her eyes. So deep, that all she could do was nod - she was completely trapped in his forest green gaze. She'd never been so enthralled or enraptured before, and she wasn't sure how to feel about the effect he was having over her. Now wasn't the time for her to be wondering though, and she turned to face their newest accomplice.

She vaguely recognized him, concluding that he was one of Edward's band members, and as she took him in, she noticed the bottles in each of his hands. One looked like every day household bleach, the other, however, resembled a can of gasoline, and her heart rate spiked yet again.

Edward walked over to his best friend, and quickly took the bleach from his hand. His heart was hammering in his chest, but one glance at the terrified look on Bella's face was enough to pull him through. He had to be strong for her; there would be time for a breakdown later - in private.

He noticed Stefan's eyes fixed on the blood, which he himself had tried to forget about, but he didn't ask any questions. He didn't ask how he had managed to find what they needed so quickly, and Stefan didn't ask what had happened - once again his friend was there to get him out of anything.

Bella sprung to action as soon as the boys began to pour the bleach on the asphalt. She stepped into the driver's seat of Alec's, jet black, Chevy Tahoe, held her breath to keep the bile from rising, and moved it out of the way. After Edward and Stefan made sure that the bleach had covered any remnants of blood, he put the can of gasoline into his car before turning back to Bella. He noticed her hovering, her eyes trying not to fall where Alec's life had seeped out of him.

"Follow me out to the cliffs off Sunset, okay? I'll tell you what to do once we get there," Edward whispered into Bella's ear.

She shivered at his close proximity, noting that his lips were nearly kissing her as he spoke. She ignored the part of her that wanted to lean in closer - it was only because she was running on adrenaline, _my imagination must be running wild,_she thought.

As soon as Edward told her where they were headed, he thanked Stefan for his help, and jumped into Alec's car. It didn't escape his notice that Bella would be the first to drive his car when he handed her his keys. His car was his first present to himself when the money came through, and it had never been handled by anyone but himself.

However, there was no way he was going to put a dead body on his back seat, and a small voice told him that he didn't want Bella near this man dead or alive. He had never previously had to think about someone else before himself, but he found it came almost naturally whenever Bella's name floated through his head.

Edward threw himself behind the wheel of Alec's SUV, going over the plans in his head. He knew what he had to do in order to erase any possible evidence, and he tried to talk himself through it during the drive. His fingers drummed incessantly against the steering wheel and he had to stop himself from glancing in the rear view mirror.

When they arrived to the cliffs, he stepped out into the salty breeze the ocean provided. He inhaled deeply, letting it calm him slightly before walking over to his girl - the car. He had to remind himself he meant the car and not the trembling girl inside it, and shook his head to clear his jumbled thoughts.

_Head in the game_, he told himself.

"Bella, do me a favor and turn the car around. I don't want you to see this," Edward said as he reached into the car to turn the key in the ignition.

Bella did as he asked, realizing it would be best to just do it. The quicker they got through it, the quicker the whole thing would be over. She couldn't help but glance through the rearview mirror, seeing him soaking the SUV in gasoline. She quickly looked away, knowing the scene behind her would only heighten her nightmares.

Edward was vigorous as he emptied the can on the interior of Alec's truck. He wanted to destroy any evidence that would point to him and was hoping that the ocean would do the rest. He had yet to come up with a reason as to why Alec would just disappear, but no one would know to come looking for him. He felt uneasy because their first stop an impending investigation would be Bella. He had selfishly put her in this situation and he wasn't entirely sure how she would get out of it.

He glanced back at his car wishing he could rewind the past hour. He could have done so many things differently, but none of them would have ended with Bella free. Despite the situation he found he wouldn't change it, wanting more time with her. Was that wrong?

"Of course that's fucking wrong," he muttered to himself. After shifting the gear into neutral, he pulled out of the SUV and stood back, inhaling lung-full's of fresh ocean air to clear his head from the fumes.

He pulled out one of his many Zippo lighters from his pocket and flicked it. It came alive with the light of its flame, and he knew there was no turning back. He walked slowly to Alec's vehicle, thinking of what he would tell Bella, what story they would use because they needed to come up with a solid alibi. Then without a second thought, he threw the lighter into the car. Before the flame could extinguish, the interior of the SUV caught fire, bursting into flames.

Edward was sure that it was his imagination playing cruel tricks on his already frazzled mind when he thought he saw Alec's eyes move as his body disappeared into the flames. He didn't waste any time in beginning to push the car over the cliff. If they wanted to remain inconspicuous, they'd both have to be back at the party before anyone missed them.

Edward felt the strain on his body as the car slowly began inching closer to the edge. He had to catch himself as it rolled over the edge, and watched as the car dropped with frightening speed. It landed a few seconds later with a loud crash, and the sea swallowed Alec and his truck whole.

Bella jumped when Edward threw himself into the car, her eyes locking on the beads of sweat forming on his pale skin. Instead of lingering in her thoughts, she asked him what they needed to do next.

"I don't think either of us are in a state to return to the party, so let's go drop you off at home. In the meantime we can get our alibis straight," he answered without glancing in her direction.

"Okay." She turned the ignition, thankful that it provided even a little noise in their silence. "I was thinking that I could call the police in the morning. You know, so that people wouldn't think I had anything to do with it..."

Edward mentally shook his head thinking the girl across from him was far too calm for this sort of situation. She was clearly like no woman he had ever met, and he wanted to know more. Had Alec been so truly horrific to her that she honestly didn't care he had just killed him? If so, Edward wanted to bring him back and kill him all over again.

"No, that's a good idea. You can say that he dropped you off at your place, saying he had something to take care of and he never returned. I like the idea."

Bella noticed the faraway look in his eyes as she peeled away from the cliffs, wanting desperately to know what was going on in his head.

"But what about you? I mean, won't people know that you left your own party?" She asked, suddenly feeling anxious.

"I can say that Stefan and I took off at the same time. That we went back to my place and ordered pizza. In fact, let me have him do that." With that said he whipped out his phone and asked Stefan to order a pizza and meet him at his place.

He came to find out that Stefan was already at his place, no doubt wanting to know what he had just aided in. He might have always been there for him, but Stefan had always been the "ask questions later" kind. There was no way they were getting passed this without an in depth conversation about what had happened and why the fuck he had done it. Edward swore his best friend watched far too much Dr. Phil - one of the downsides to working at night he guessed.

With Bella behind the wheel there was no need for directions to her home, and she noticed she felt overwhelming disappointment that her companion didn't seem to want to talk to her at all. She felt hurt - in a different way she'd ever felt with Alec - that this man had only helped her because it was obvious she was in trouble, not because he cared about _her._

When they pulled up to Bella's home in Malibu, she turned off the car and waited. When the silence became too much for her she turned in her seat and looked intently into his eyes, almost as if searching for strength. The hair that had slipped out of it's chic knot at the back of her head had slipped out and was annoying him, simply because it was obstructing his view of her eyes. Without thinking twice, he reached up and tucked it behind her ear, not caring that his fingers lingered on the side of her face - she didn't seem to either.

Bella managed to hide the way her breath hitched, but couldn't battle both that and the way she wanted to lean into his touch. With her slight movement, his strong hand was touching the length of her jaw, and she relished in the way her skin heated beneath his touch. She once again wished she knew what was going on in his head because she could read the battling emotions in his eyes. There was such softness in his gaze that it took her breath away, but the undiluted anger bubbling beneath it was enough to make her wary.

Subconsciously, Bella moved in, wanting to be closer, needing to feel the warmth and safety that she knew Edward emitted. She'd felt it every time she had been close enough to him during the course of the night, and she found herself craving it.

Edward noticed her movement, his eyes flicking to her lips when her tongue peeked out to moisten her bottom one. Barely containing his groan and attraction for her, he quickly closed the distance between them, locking their lips together desperately. His hand closed in around the back of her neck, his fingers slipping up into her hair and anchoring her mouth to his.

The passion in his kiss and the strength in his hold of her had Bella silently begging for more. When their tongues touched she felt that clichéd shock of desire buzz through her. She couldn't stop the moan that bubbled quietly out of her, but it didn't put Edward off, in fact, it seemed to spur him on. His grip increased and his pace changed from tentative to forceful. It was passionate and lustful and everything Bella had never experienced in a simple kiss before.

The way she tasted only heightened the way Edward had been feeling all night as his tongue slipped around hers. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd be reliving this kiss for years to come. He'd taken part in his fair share over his years, but none matched this.

Bella's hands soon found their way to his shoulders, feeling the expensive fabric of his suit below her fingertips. _What'd give to take it off him, slowly, one piece at a time,_she thought.

Somehow, she knew she wouldn't be disappointed in the prize revealed to her - for she was certain a man like Edward was a prize to a girl like her. Despite the unconventional way he went about it, he was her knight in shining armor. _He_was her dream come true, not Alec like the tabloids suggested.

The fact that Edward's hair was damp in her hands didn't bother her. He was running really hot, having not cooled down from his exertion, and his scent was heady in the small space around them. It was musky and subtle, making her head swim the closer she got to him.

He needed to have her closer; it was the only thing that could possibly make their kiss better. She was too far away from him. Edward ignored the voice in his head, reminding him his previous conquests had never had so much as hug out of him as he pulled Bella's petite body closer to his.

He almost growled at his more carnal side. Bella wasn't a conquest. He wasn't stupid, he knew she was definitely special, and that he couldn't treat her the way he did all the other girls, not that there had been many in the past year anyway.

It was that thought that made him push her away again. She had just witnessed her boyfriend die before her eyes at his very hands. The one man who had provided everything for her was gone, and Edward knew she would find it difficult to move forward. He couldn't take advantage of her in that kind of state - no matter how much he wanted to.

Bella tried to crawl closer to him when he put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her back into her seat. Feeling his rejection wash over her, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Stop, Bella. We can't do this. It would be a mistake." His voice was cold, detached, almost business like.

"A mistake, right."

"It was heat of the moment, that's all. It wouldn't be right, I don't want _that._.. It's just better if we leave it that way, and go our separate ways."

The tears pricked at her eyes as his words sunk in. He didn't want _her_is what he was really saying.

Edward's heart squeezed uncomfortably in his chest at the lowest form of blasphemy to leave his lips. He knew how she was going to take his words - the wrong way - but he couldn't retract them.

He wanted her, God did he want her, but he couldn't find the words to explain that it wasn't the right time for them, that they'd never survive if they started something now, that _he_wouldn't survive it. He already wanted her too much; he shuddered at the thought of what it would be like to walk away from her after they'd been together. He doubted he'd be able to do it.

Bella saw the shudder that travelled over his body and suddenly felt sick. It was his car so it was easy enough for him to leave. She wrenched the handle and stepped out into the sticky coast air. It was strange for there not to be a breeze coming off the ocean, but she reminded herself it was a strange night and everything was different.

Edward stepped out of the car after her, but he didn't call her name, or speak at all. She couldn't bring herself to turn back, so she started the long walk up her path, leaving him safely behind her.

As he made his way around the front of his car, he made sure to keep his eyes on her, wanting to see her if she decided to turn back, but she never did. She got to the door, dug out her key and slipped through the crack of the barely open door.

The pain in his chest intensified when it shut behind her and he could no longer see her. The calm she had instilled in him all night was gone, completely overridden by the anxiety and panic welling inside him. He couldn't find it in him to feel remorse - he wasn't feeling guilty for ridding the world of him, only that he'd scared Bella

Bella leaned back against the closed door, gasping for breath. _What had just happened? That was singly the best kiss I've ever had and he clearly felt nothing. _The energy, the spark she thought had travelled between them hadn't existed for him. Otherwise, why would he have pushed her away so coldly?

Her heart rate increased as she looked around the empty open floor of the beach house, her breath coming in shorter and shorter gasps as she heard Edward's car pull away from the drive. He'd left her - he'd come riding in, completely changed her world, and then left her alone when she needed him most.

She managed to stumble her way over to the sofa in the pitch black, knocking something to the hardwood floor on her way. The sound barely registered through the fog in her head as she collapsed onto the cushions.

Her tears finally spilled over when she noticed just how quiet it was. _It is always going to be this quiet now,_she thought. She was alone, and she knew she never coped well when she was on her own. She had until the morning to mourn the loss of her life and cry out her anger and frustration.

She also only had until the morning to remember that kiss, let it fill her up because come sunrise, she would have to pretend that they'd never met, that her life wasn't irrevocably different because of him, and that she was genuinely worried about the welfare of the man she loved. Before falling asleep, she called Alec's phone and apologized for upsetting him. She said she'd give him his space and they'd talk in the morning.

The morning came too quickly, and the memories of the previous night began to haunt her like a terrible nightmare. Each time she closed her eyes, Alec's lifeless body flashed on the backs of her eyelids. She quickly stood up and dashed to the bedroom, irrationally hoping to find Alec asleep on the bed they used to share. When she walked into the empty bedroom, the truth began to sink in. In a flash, much like her memories of the previous night, she crumpled to the floor, breaking into pieces - for Alec, and for her silent promise not to see Edward again.

After crying herself out, she dragged her tired body to the bathroom to freshen herself up. Looking at her face in the mirror for the first time since the party, she almost didn't recognize herself. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, and her face was swollen.

There were bruises forming where Alec had hit her, and the cuts where her skin had broken at the harsh contact of Alec's fist, were puckered and pink. She raised her fingers gently to the bruise on her right cheek, trailing them over the tender flesh. Instead of seeing Alec, however, it was Edward that her mind conjured up. She combined that soft, gentle look in his eye with him looking after her. If he hadn't left he would have stood over her, soothing her injuries, her soul, with light touches and softly spoken words.

She shook her head, knowing he had in fact left, and that he wasn't coming back. They didn't run in the same circles and she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that from now on he would go out of his way to avoid her. He wouldn't want to be reminded of what he had done, _he wouldn't want to risk me getting attached_, she thought.

When she was composed enough, she called Volterra asking for Alec. She barely paid any attention when his secretary told her he hadn't been seen - of course no one there had seen him. She thought it was sad how easily the lies she was telling were rolling off her tongue.

After hanging up, she decided she'd call his mobile again to leave another message. When his unusually cheery voice floated through the receiver, as his voicemail picked up, she battled yet another small anxiety attack, and had to compose herself again. When her breathing calmed and her thoughts were silenced, she finally called the police. She explained how they'd had a misunderstanding at the party, and how he'd never returned despite always doing so.

"No officer, it's not normal for him to be gone this long without calling the office or at least letting me know. I'm worried about him, sir. Yes, I'll be expecting you then. Goodbye." She rolled her eyes at herself, knowing the nerves were making her act differently - they would never know, however, that she never spoke that formally, even when Alec insisted she do so.

It was close to two in the afternoon when the officers showed up to the beach house. Bella had spent most of her time trying to make herself presentable, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't cover the bruising on her pale skin. Both officers kept staring after she'd opened the door, and she knew there would be questions. It was the biggest of the two that averted his eyes first and spoke with a soft smile.

"Isabella Swan?" the main officer asked.

"Officers." She attempted a smile, but it came across as a grimace with the pain in caused her. She nodded at them cordially before deciding she should probably say something more. "Were you the one that I spoke with earlier?"

"Yes, ma'am. Do you mind if we come in?"

"No, not at all; please." She stepped aside and waved her arm for them to enter. When they were standing in the middle of the lounge, her manners kicked in. Alec would have been horrified that it took her so long to act her role - women were there to serve. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No ma'am, thank you." The officers sat opposite her on either end of her new sofa as she perched on the edge of the armchair. She twisted her hands in her lap, terrified of what they might ask her. The officer was doing all the talking, however, took her nerves as a sign of worry for her missing partner. "Can you tell us what time your boyfriend dropped you off here last night?" He took out a tiny notebook and Bella nearly laughed at how dwarfed it seemed in his large hand, but his inquisitive stare had her back on edge.

"Yes, sir. It was close to one in the morning. We had just attended the single release party for Fascinate's latest album." The officer nodded, knowing that already. She didn't know he had been there, but it was one of the perks of dating a P.A to the stars.

"And may I ask, what happened to your face?"

"Oh, that." She waved her hand dismissively, hoping the officer closest to her couldn't see how it was shaking. "I am so clumsy that I didn't notice some clothes on the floor last night and fell. The impact from the fall cut my cheek. I'm sorry I'm such a mess," Bella answered before bursting into tears. The building tension in her body was proving too much for her, and she was terrified she was going to ruin everything - it wasn't just her on the line, she felt the need to succeed so she could protect Edward, too.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to offend you. Is there anyone else that we can maybe speak to that would know of his whereabouts?" Bella shook her head almost immediately.

"Alec doesn't really have many close friends. You see, as the fierce businessman that he is, he creates more enemies than friends. So I suppose the next best would be his employees at Volterra." Bella made sure she used his name in the present tense, wondering how she was managing to stay on top of her emotions.

"Thank you, Miss Swan. We'll let you know when we get any leads, and please, don't fret. I'm sure he just needed some time to think or maybe an impromptu visit to Las Vegas. We'll find him." The officer offered her a kind smile.

They all stood up, the officers replacing their hats, and Bella showed them back to the door. The one who had done all the talking had offered Bella his card in case she ever needed to talk. The card read Emmett McCarty, Detective, Los Angeles Police Department.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she shut the door behind them. She knew, however, that it was far from over. They hadn't even asked her what their fight had been about - she had the answer ready, but she was puzzled why they didn't want to know. Wouldn't that have been a major part of their investigation when a person went missing after a supposed fight?

Little did Bella know, that when the officers would go to question the employees at Volterra, his trusted assistant, Siobhan, would finally break her silence. Emmett already had his suspicions when he saw Bella's face, and had decided not to ask about their fight. Siobhan wasted no time in informing them that she'd known about Alec physically abusing Bella.

Siobhan was more than helpful in letting them know that most of the photographers and other models knew about it, Emmett was sickened to find out they let the abuse continue simply because they were afraid of Alec and what he would do. They'd all known that Bella made up all those excuses as to why she had swelling and bruising on different parts of her body. Emmett had seen so many domestic abuse cases, but not like that. Usually no one knew, the victim was too scared to confide in anyone and suffered in silence.

This time the victim still couldn't confide in any one, but all those around her already knew. All those around her didn't care enough to try to help her - they were all so superficial that they valued their own careers over the welfare of someone they saw every day. He wondered how so many people in one place could all be so cold and self-conceited.

Bella was sitting at home, terrified of the new life she would have to lead, frightened of the future, while Emmett headed out to meet his girl. When he hugged her tighter than usual and held her longer than necessary, he swore he'd help Bella as much as he could.

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><p><strong><span>Author's Chapter End Notes:<span>**

Thanks for reading!

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	3. Escape

**devilsgenie: Hi everyone! you gotta excuse the ficwife, she had a long night out in the pubs last night, and i highly doubt she's up for much talking!**

**A quick thank you all for reading this humble little story of ours, and thanks to jakeward, kherisma, & sassygeminimom for their wonderful help. Also we wanna thank the great and awesome staff at Sparkly Red Pen for their help - Thanks gals!**

**As always, we don't own any of the songs mentioned, Edward & Bella, or sadly Jared Leto. We do however stake our claim on this idea.**

**Enjoy!**

**LiveInDakota: Okay, I totally have to stick up for myself after that! I am not incapacitated, I've just been working all day :P I did have a good night, though :P**

**Personally, I kind of love this chapter, so just like thw wifey said above, I hope you enjoy it :):)**

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><p>Chapter 2 – Escape<p>

Edward arrived at his house flustered. He walked to the living room, nodded at Stefan and collapsed on the couch before reaching for a slice of pizza. As soon as he took a bite of the warm barbecue chicken slice, the bile rose to his throat, and he ran to the bathroom.

The events of the last couple of hours were playing on repeat in his head. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to get rid of them. When the image of Alec's eyes flicking to him as Edward set him alight stuck in his head, he decided if he told Stefan about it, he'd make him take it to the grave.

Stefan waited in the living room for Edward to return, and when he did, he held his hand up as if to stop the impending interrogation that would be coming from his best friend. After a moment of just staring off into space, Stefan unknowingly began tapping his foot impatiently.

"I've done something terrible..." was all that came out of Edward's mouth.

"Is there any way that it can be fixed?" Stefan asked, immediately knowing the answer.

"No, I really fucked things up," he said with shaky breath.

"Is there any way that it'll come back to you?" he asked, trying to piece the whole thing together.

"There is a way, but if Bella talks then she'd get a piece of it as well."

"Bella?" Stefan's brow furrowed in momentary confusion. "Isabella Swan? Since when were you on a nickname basis?"

_Shit, _Edward thought. The world knew her as Isabella, and he'd slipped already. Wait, hadn't he called her Bella all night? She hadn't seemed to mind...Alec called her Bella.

Alec _had _called her Bella. Edward reminded himself that Alec was no more, and that was all in the past.

"Yeah, no, I mean...she said to call her that yesterday and it sort of stuck. But yes, Isabella Swan." His mental light bulb went off, and abruptly he sat up straighter. "Better yet, it's best if you don't know anything. I don't want to incriminate you, too."

"Edward, are you forgetting I was there? It's a bit late for trying to save my soul now. You don't have to tell me all of it, man, but you know I'm here if you need to talk about it."

Edward's eyes were boring holes into the wall opposite him as he mulled over his best friend's words. It wasn't often you would find a man who wasn't afraid of being sentimental. While Jasper always focused on the fun in life, Edward knew Stefan was right - he _had_ been there. He was the closest thing to family he had and had _always _come through on his promises.

"I lost control, Stef. It's never been that bad." Edward shook his head sadly, and Stefan gave him the time to collect his thoughts.

Now that he thought about it, his temper _really _never had been that bad. Sure, he'd been in numerous fights over the years, even since hitting the big time, but his sense had never fled him before like the previous night. He'd never been so consumed by his anger that everything else faded away entirely.

Something inside him told him he needed to connect the dots - that he had lost control because of what he had witnessed happening to Bella, but with his head heavy, laden with worries and plans, he didn't make space for the niggling thought in the back of his mind.

"I don't even know what happened. He was laying into her, man. I couldn't just stand by and watch." Edward's eyes flew to Stefan's as if asking for his understanding. His friend could only nod as he waited for the rest. "She was trying to look brave, but even from where I was standing I could tell she was scared. I could see it in her when she stood up to him."

Edward recalled the flash of defiance in her eyes when he started to make his way across to them. That had been Bella's first mistake. Edward knew Alec had snapped - just as he would - influenced by his surroundings. The fact that Bella wouldn't take his abuse lying down had only made Alec angrier - Edward could see it in him.

"She shouldn't have fought back. I watched him snap. I could fucking see it in him as I walked across. I should have gotten there fucking quicker, but it was like I blinked, and he had practically knocked her backward. I mean, what kind of fucker backhands his girl?" Edward growled as he sprang from his spot on the sofa, his anger overcoming him again at the simple thought of Alec hitting Bella.

"The kind who has power and knows that no one would dare defy him," Stefan replied, knowing it was a rhetorical question. "The kind of guy who doesn't give a fuck because he fancies himself as a god." Without missing a beat, he added more. "Think about it, Edward. Who at Volterra would dare defy him? I'm sure there are plenty of people who knew about Alec hurting her like that. It would be kinda hard for her to hide it since she's a model. Not only that, but for her to have to come up with excuses time and time again? Someone had to have fucking known!" he said feeling exasperated.

Stefan had only seen the girl up close the previous evening, and even he'd been able to see there was something broken about her. She presented a front, but it was obvious to him that she'd put up with abuse of some kind for a very long time.

Edward grabbed a remote and sat back on his couch. He turned on his iSymphony and pressed play. Not recalling what he had last listened to, he began laughing almost hysterically when the opening guitar solo played _Just For_by Nickelback. Instead of letting the hysteria overcome him, he turned up the volume and let the beat flow through his already thumping head.

"See, Stef, this was how I fucking felt! I mean, I barely know the girl, but when I saw what he did to her, I couldn't just let it happen. It was just this blinding rage, and I saw red. I wasn't even thinking; I only had this overwhelming need to protect her from him no matter what the consequences." Edward fell silent, thinking of what he had just said.

Stefan saw how this was beginning to have an effect on his best friend and decided to distract him for the time being. "C'mon man, let's play some Rock Band or something. Let's get your mind off this shit."

They spent the better part of the next hour playing Guitar Hero, picking the hardest songs to play, and releasing their anger and frustration on the plastic guitar.

As Edward cleaned up, Stefan set off to the guest bedroom that he most frequently stayed in and left Edward to his thoughts. Turning the radio back on, Edward let the noise play softly in the background as he straightened up his living room, wishing his life could be sorted just as easily. His thoughts were in turmoil, but still somehow, he let his mind drift back to Bella.

He regretted leaving her alone. He knew it had been the right thing to do, but now that he could think of nothing other than their kiss, both his heart and his head told him he needed her. He contemplated jumping back into his car and going to her, but he had no idea if she felt the same way. It would have been both highly awkward and embarrassing if he'd shown up at her door and she hadn't wanted him there.

Yes, it was a mistake to leave her, but Edward knew his choice for them to stay apart was the better option. There would be too many risks, too many questions; if any one were to find out they were spending time together. It certainly wasn't unusual in the Hollywood world for a model to hook up with a rock-star, but it was when the supposed love of her life was still missing.

The next morning Edward woke up startled by the banging on his bedroom door. Disoriented he looked to the other side of his bed for a certain brunette companion before he realized he had managed to fuck that up to. He would have laughed if he hadn't felt so fucked over - as if he'd ever have _Bella Swan _in his bed.

"Ed, get up, man! There are police at the door," Stefan whispered in a rush.

Despite being someone who hated his sleep to be interrupted, Edward quickly jumped up, finding some clean jeans and a tee, and padded down the staircase quietly. He slowed his pace, desperately trying to wake himself up and organize his thoughts. He cursed silently for drinking himself to sleep to rid the thoughts of Bella from his head, because he was paying the price now.

Once he reached the ground floor, he found his housekeeper, Charlotte, had already shown the two uniformed men into the living room and was offering them something to drink. He also noticed that Stefan was quietly sitting across from them, clearly waiting for him to arrive.

"Officers," Edward said, shaking both their hands as they introduced themselves as Emmett McCarty and his partner Sam Uley. "Please excuse my appearance, but I'm sure you guys already know we had a long night. What can I do for you?"

"Well, Mr. Cullen, I don't know if you've heard the news yet, but big modeling mogul, Alec Montage, went missing last night after he was at your party. Now, I have a source stating you walked out of the party shortly after he and his girlfriend left. And before this gets too far, I just want to make it clear we're not considering you a suspect, but we just want to cover all our bases and make sure you didn't see anything unusual," Detective McCarty said cautiously.

Emmett was aware who he was dealing with and knew he had a fine line to walk. It never went well when stuck-up celebrities thought they were being accused of something by the law. He had seen it too many times, and while he took in Edward's calm and friendly appearance, he knew he still had to be careful.

"Of course," Edward replied as Charlotte returned with water for the officers and tea for Stefan and Edward. "Thank you, Charlotte." He smiled kindly at the older woman, noting the concern for him in her eyes. It wasn't often she had reason to worry about him, but she was the closest thing he had to a mother, and he found that her opinion and thoughts meant a great deal to him.

"Well, officers, to be completely honest, I didn't see anything that would alarm you. I walked out to get my pack of smokes from my car; I was starting to smoke when two girls began talking to me about the new album. Not much later I sent a text to Stefan here, and we brought the girls back to my place." Edward managed to hide his cringe. It seemed wrong to insinuate he had company the night before when all he could think about was one enchanting brunette.

Detective McCarty was not surprised; he knew what guys like Edward were about. It certainly wasn't any of his business to judge how they spent their free time. It was also wrong to pity them, maybe they were happy the way they were.

"I'm sorry, but did he disappear from the party? Should we call the record company and see if other people have come up missing or if someone that wasn't invited tried to get in?" Edward sounded worried.

God, why hadn't he gone into acting? With the strain he was feeling, he wondered just what would be enough to be Oscar worthy.

"No, Mr. Cullen, we're actually not sure he's even missing. It's just that, well...we began investigating this further because we have some questions pertaining to another case we'd like to ask him. It's crucial for us to find him," Detective McCarty said, almost having told the two rock stars about Alec abusing Isabella.

Before they could ask any further questions as to the other alleged case, Officer Uley quickly asked, "And what about your other band member, Jasper Whitlock. Can you account for him?"

Edward and Stefan looked at each other. "No. When we left the party, he was still inside." Edward quickly added. "Do we need to call him?"

"No, no, we just were wondering if you all live together or something," Detective McCarty said.

"No, we all have our own place. Eddie lets me crash here, though, when I've had too much to drink. It helps our families not worry as much," Stefan replied looking abashed.

_Maybe it was a creative thing_, Edward thought. It seemed Stefan was as good at the acting as he was. He tried to remember a time in his life when he would have had plenty of practice at lying, because it came _too_easily, but his roots - although unconventional - had never led to a life where he would need to lie and cheat like so many others with bad starts in life.

"Completely understandable. I'm glad you guys think things through instead of trying to get into a car when inebriated. It makes our jobs easier," Officer Uley replied with a laugh, thankfully lightening the mood in the room.

"Thank you, gentlemen, for your time, and good luck with your new album." Detective McCarty nodded at the men across from him as he and his partner stood to leave.

With an inaudible sigh of relief on both their parts, the two friends stood with them, each shaking a hand before Edward led the two officers to his front door.

"This is a nice home you have here, Mr. Cullen. Looks like the music business pays well. My wife sure would love a place like this." Officer Uley whistled lowly and laughed once again. It wasn't until that moment that Edward realized he'd been holding his breath - for how long was the question. The tension in the air left when it dawned on him that things hadn't gone badly. More importantly, he felt relieved he hadn't fucked things up for Bella.

Edward managed to find his voice, saving him just in time from seeming like an arrogant asshole. "Ah, but not as admirable as you guys. Not nearly as glamorous as everyone seems to think." He laughed, but his comment hit home; he had just murdered a violent man and covered it up without thinking twice.

"Well, thanks again for your cooperation. We'll be in touch if we have any more questions," Detective McCarty managed to say before he turned and playfully smacked his partner upside the head.

Edward smiled at the camaraderie between them, knowing they had each other's backs on a daily basis, likening it to the assurance he held that he and Stefan were exactly the same. These men left their lives in the other's hands every day, and at that moment, Edward felt his life was very much in his best friend's grasp. Without Stefan's back-up and help, his day would have been panning out drastically differently.

After moping around most of the day and being forced by Charlotte to eat something, Edward wanted nothing more than to ask his best friend to go home and let him crawl under his covers.

He wasn't entirely sure why he was feeling so morose. His band was more popular than the day before, their publicity tour was nearing an end - meaning time at home and to himself - and his bank balance was cushioned considerably more comfortably. However, it felt that someone had turned out the lights - everything felt dull and lifeless, and he just couldn't seem to find the will to care. He was thankful his day hadn't required him to show his face or turn up at work, and he'd taken advantage of it. He hadn't, however, realized just how different he had become. Stefan clearly had.

Twilight was falling upon them when Stefan decided he was going to end Edward's emo mood. He was certain he knew what was behind Edward's sulking, and he hoped his plan would come to fruition.

"That's it!" Stefan yelled, "I've had it with you acting like such a little bitch. Get in the car. We're going for a drive." His voice floated into the kitchen from the living room, and Edward rolled his eyes at Charlotte. She, however, only continued to watch him in silence, with that same concerned look in her eyes.

Edward would never admit to it, but seeing it all day had set him on edge. He wasn't sure why she was so concerned, and his paranoia only heightened when she refused to speak on the matter. She was never a woman of many words, but Edward had come to know her silence always said more. Frustrated with the way his night seemed to be going, he pushed his half-finished plate back in her direction and stood.

Edward got into the car without saying a single word, knowing not to argue with Stefan when he was set on something so aggressively. As the car took off, he leaned back and let his thoughts drift away. Unsurprisingly they drifted to Bella and how she would be taking the investigation. It wasn't long before he began thinking about the other case that Detective McCarty had mentioned, and it made him wonder if they knew about Alec hurting Bella.

His fists clenched on the seat beside his thighs as he thought of the night before and the bruise that had marred the perfection of her skin. Was he ever going to rid himself of the way it would undoubtedly haunt him? He quickly tried clearing his thoughts. _No, I can't let this affect my career. I have to forget about that night, and forget about her, _he thought bitterly.

"Edward." Stefan's voice broke through his reverie. "We're here."

"Where are we?" Edward asked as he sat up. He looked at the house, and looked at Stefan incredulously. "What the fuck are we doing here?" he asked, his anger rising for no apparent reason. "And how the fuck do you even know where she lives?" His temper and narrowed eyes didn't seem to faze his best friend who sat calmly behind the wheel, Stefan's eyes on the light pouring from the front room.

"Look, man, all you gotta do is tell me that you're too much of a pussy to talk to her, and we'll leave. And by the way, there is a little thing called the Internet. It's so easy to find shit these days," Stefan calmly replied, but the edge to his voice was still apparent to Edward.

"So, what are you waiting for? Go talk to her. It's now or never, man," Stefan pressed him when he was yet to move.

Edward stepped out of Stefan's Phantom and closed the door. He stood for a moment, staring at the beach house, letting the sound of the waves crashing against the shore beyond it wash over him. He suddenly felt giddy at the prospect of seeing Bella again; he had fantasized about their reunion and how happy she would be to see him, but as he approached the front door and was getting ready to push the doorbell, his otherwise non-existent insecurity hit him square in the chest.

_What if she doesn't want to talk to me? What if she hates me for killing the love of her life? Jesus, it's only been twenty-four hours, and she's turned me into a nervous wreck. _

He was suddenly aware that while he had been thinking about her constantly over that period of time, it didn't mean she had thought of him in quite the same capacity. He moved his finger away from the bell and decided to listen for a moment before he did anything rash. At first, it was difficult to focus on something other than the sounds of the waves, but then he heard it. Faint sniffling and sobbing was coming from the inside of the house - unmistakable in its resonance.

The window to his left was cracked open slightly, and through the space Bella's pain floated out. He almost laughed when he heard her lightly growl and say something lowly to herself. He imagined her berating herself for her tears, probably thinking they made her seem weak.

All of this was lost to him, however, when it finally sank in - she was _crying. _Despite their short time together, Edward was sure she wasn't a girl to show her emotions freely. If she was allowing herself the reprieve of tears, then she was in pain.

There was a sudden weight on his chest as he dragged in his next breath. It was his fault. He knew she'd been too calm, too strong, when they'd been together the previous night. It never actually dawned on him that he hadn't done the right thing.

There was no way she'd want to see him again. He'd been delusional to start thinking they could have "one night" before the shit hit the fan. It might have been Stefan's idea, but he found himself on the same page pretty quickly. Why would she want to spend the night with the one man who took all she had away from her?

He had justified his actions by reminding himself that Alec was a monster, but was _he_truly any better? Alec may have abused her, and Bella may have wanted out desperately, but by taking him out of the picture entirely, Edward may have ruined things completely for her. She no longer had shelter, a car to drive, or a manager.

He believed she'd survive; after all she had an income - a hefty income - of her own to support her, but something wasn't sitting right. What was it he'd read about her in some celeb magazine? She'd never coped well on her own, and Alec had been her saving grace?

Edward battled the urge to throw up. The world - and he, too - had truly believed Alec and Bella's relationship had been the fairytale kind. The guy who wouldn't give up until the beautiful girl was his. The guy who showered her with both gifts and love, and protected her from the big bad world.

He felt sick with himself. He might not have known her personally or have been able to do anything, but he'd just been one of the millions that believed the story. One of the hundreds in their circles who hadn't cared enough to look closer.

He might not have been one of the assholes who undoubtedly knew and said nothing, but he was only one step behind them. He'd thought he had helped, but she was hurt, sad, and alone in a house that didn't even belong to her.

The sound of smashing crystal on hardwood rang throughout the house and made Edward jump on his spot on the porch. Now she was angry - now definitely wasn't the best time for him to show up unannounced. He felt defeated when he realized there probably would never be a time for him to show up in her life. He didn't belong there.

When he turned, his heart sinking as low as he was sure it could go; he found he was alone. Stefan's Phantom was no longer idling at the end of the drive. Had he been so absorbed in his thoughts he hadn't heard him accelerate and drive off? Edward struggled to figure out just how long he had been standing on Bella's stoop.

He looked back at the enormous, morose-looking beach house one last time and silently vowed he would never bother Isabella Swan again. She would be his undoing, and for all he knew she probably wished it was him that was dead, not Alec. As he began to walk away, his feet somehow felt heavier than before, but he trudged on, knowing it was going to take more than a long walk to help with his guilt and pain.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

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	4. Goodbye

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Here we are again. Sorry most of you only got your review replies minutes ago, we've been super swamped! But we thought replying late was better than not at all because we love hearing from every one of you :)**

**As always, it's not ours, but the original ides for Hurricane are. **

**_LiveInDakota_: I highly suggest cranking up the volume and playing Hurricane on repeat for this chapter... *shrugs* just a suggestion, but you'll see why ;P**

**See you at the bottom :)**

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><p><strong><span>Chapter 3: Goodbye<span>**

The next few months were a blur, and as the summer heat gave way to fall before blurring into cold nights and rainier days, Edward's creativity seemed to thrive. He refused to speak to Stefan about what had happenedthat night when he'd been left at Bella's place, and Stefan left it untouched, awed instead of concerned about the change in his best friend.

Their material which followed Edward's changing view on the things around them, made them stronger, made their album better. The leaked snippets of songs seemed to leave their fans hanging in suspense as they awaited the new album, and the guys couldn't help but let the mania rub off on them.

They gigged on shows, interviewed on radio stations, and busied themselves with the preparations for their world tour. If it was possible, they'd gotten even more popular with the anticipated new release, and their first single spent it's first three weeks at number one on the Billboard charts - destined for longer.

Edward didn't think it was possible, but working himself half to death seemed to help take his mind off Bella and that horrible night. When he _did _think about it, it only served to fuel his ideas for songs - helping him create outlets for something he knew he could never discuss.

The opening strains became darker, the lyrics became more loaded, and the emotion behind the songs they recorded put more strain on his voice than ever before. Edward was sure Stefan knew what was behind it, but he never asked. He was both relieved and disappointed that Bella was never brought up; some days he thought it would help to talk it over. Maybe if he voiced it aloud it would be more real, because as sure as he was that the horror of Alec's death had happened, he was beginning to wonder if he had made up the kiss - the _feeling_- with Bella.

His self-imposed silence was taking its toll on his mind, draining him emotionally when he purged his feelings on his guitar, but there was no end in sight. He knew without doubt who could take away the darkness, fight off the depression, but he didn't dare hope his wish would come true. He often wondered how she was, what she was doing, but he quelled his interest in her, knowing it was an unhealthy burden.

The first song about that night happened after a long day in the studio, touching up songs for the album and making last minute changes. He'd fallen asleep on the leather couch, and the guys had left him a note about calling it a night. He knew he'd been purposely left alone. It didn't seem like anything when he toyed with the ivory keys of the _Bosendorfer _piano, but as he sat and simply tried to play, he found his thoughts clouding his ability.

Soon, after organizing the jumble in his head, he found a melody. The flowing notes consumed him, his fingers conveying the torment in his heart onto the piano. He was so focused on playing, on letting the conflicting emotions out of his soul, he didn't notice their sound engineer enter the studio.

As he found his voice, the song began to have a structure, a body, and he took advantage.

_No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget_  
><em>No matter how many lies that I live, I will never regret<em>  
><em>There is a fire inside that has started a riot about to explode into flames<em>

He shook his head; something wasn't working. To tired to even move from the piano bench, he reached behind him for his favourite guitar and started again. He sang the same three lines over and over in his head, not knowing where to go.

Now that the idea had planted itself, now that it wasn't just an aimless tune, there was more pressure. He could feel it, right there, building inside him. He could once again feel the emotion that was assuredly tethering him to the images that haunted him daily. He continued to play the melody over, knowing the words were there, they just needed to come out. Then, as if struck by lightning, the words came, and he fumbled to write them down.

The rhythm in itself was simple enough, the premise promising, but try as he might to block out his past, he found it came along for the ride anyway.

He thought of Bella, saw the moment she decided she'd had enough - when all the abuse was finally too much and she was going to stand up for herself despite knowing the consequences.

_"No matter how many times you told me you wanted to leave..._" Edward sang softly to himself, the same pattern emerging in his head. He could see the notes as if the music were already written in front of him, could see the way they organized themselves in order and sequence.

He could also, however, see the gaping hole he'd left in the phrasing, unable to fill it. The notes he'd last played hung in the air around him until they too died off, leaving him surrounded in oppressive silence...again.

Frustrated that he couldn't even get it right when he was alone, he pushed the bench back and stood, shocked to find he wasn't alone at all. He decided he didn't need to explain himself or his apparent failure and instead stalked out of the room, his hands shoved deep in his pockets and his head bowed.

A storm had rolled in - warnings had been in place for days, but everyone had sort of decided it wouldn't happen after three days had gone by untouched by bad weather.

Unprepared, Edward was both soaked and frozen in the time it took him to dash to his car in the heavily guarded parking lot outside their studio. As usual there were a few paparazzi camped at the gate, but it only took a few revs of his engine for them to scatter.

Speeding home, he cursed quietly to himself, not believing the rain that was thundering against the roof of his car. Somehow, however, he let it relax him instead, finding it fit his mood quite well.

His fingers were drumming a pattern out on the steering wheel for who knows how long before he realized it was the same as that he had left abandoned behind him.

_"No matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn't breathe..."_

_God, I knew how that felt_, he thought bitterly.

He let it go, finding he wanted to try and resurrect some peace in the weather around him. He dashed through the driving rain, shivering violently as he dripped cold water over the floor inside his door.

After a long, hot shower, he sat for hours, staring at the effects of the thrashing wind and driving rain outside his floor to ceiling windows.

He measured his breathing like he did every night when he lay in bed - alone - and found the darkness finally taking him as the storm raged on.

For someone who rarely remembered his dreams, there was one that was beginning to stand out amongst the rest when he awoke.

He was back in that lot, Bella shivering and shaking in fear beside him. Alec was always cowering on the asphalt, begging for another chance. His voice barely registered with Edward because he was ensconced in all that was Bella. He was sure her deep brown eyes would haunt him forever, but in his dream they narrowed, became accusatory as he held his hands up in surrender. He wasn't able to fight the feeling of weakness that always swept over him - nor the way his breathing started to stutter and hurt.

His eyes would eventually find the pathetic heap at his feet, and every time his heart jumped and stopped when he found his own face mirrored back at him - black and blue from an onslaught of abuse.

It was Bella's fists raining down on him - her palpable anger marking him both physically and emotionally. He felt the pain stabbing at his entire body, he lived through the cracking of his own ribs and skull.

Unlike the reality, however, he was still breathing, still unable to cry out when she would hold a match out above him. He would writhe in agony as the flame caught on his clothes, and nearly every night he would awake screaming as his dream-self died in pain.

He felt weak when he awoke, breathing ragged and heart pounding. He felt alone and vulnerable - for the first time since Alec's death - when he had to wipe tear tracks from his cold clammy skin. He hated the pain, he hated feeling the ache she had left again and again.

Like every other morning - or night, for that matter - his piano was the only thing that helped. Whenever he sat down, his fingers found the same keys again, pounding out the darkening melody as he tried to purge the dream from his mind.

_"No matter how many nights you'd lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain..."_

Edward groaned. It was all true and it was all right, but he couldn't make anything out of a dozen verse lines. He needed something tangible, something that would bring it all together.

It took him several moments to realize the answer was literally right in front of him. The thing that was bringing it all together - except Bella and his thoughts of her - was the storm he was using to balance himself out.

The measure of an artist was how they incorporated their influences and surroundings into their music, and as he watched it rage on outside, he had the bridge he needed between the two.

With a newly found confidence that maybe he could work through it on his own and that he could use his memories of Bella instead of letting them ruin him, he put his fingers back to keys and began to play.

"_No matter how many times you told me you wanted to leave,_

_No matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn't breathe..._

_No matter how many nights that you'd lie wide awake to the sounds of the poison rain,_

_Where did you go?_

_Tell me would you kill to save a life?_

_Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?_

_Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn..._

_This hurricane's chasing us all underground."_

He paused, finding he needed to breathe more often than he was telling himself - or maybe it was because his heart was awkwardly and painfully thudding in his chest. He pulled a stack of unused note paper from the drawer nearest him and began frantically scribbling the newly put together lyrics.

He looked at the staved paper atop his piano disdainfully. He wouldn't be likely to forget how it went if he had the words down - surely? With a sigh and a tug of his hand through his hair, he decided he shouldn't chance it. It would take too much time and effort to write it, so he pulled out his iPhone, avoiding looking at the time, and set it to record.

"_No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget._

_No matter how many lives that I live, I will never regret._

_There is a fire inside and it started a riot, about to explode into flames,_

_Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God?_

_Tell me would you kill to save a life?_

_Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?_

_Crash, crash burn, let it all burn,_

_This hurricane's chasing us all underground."_

It didn't feel finished, but he was genuinely unsure of what else it needed. On no sleep and an overactive imagination, he was sure it would be better to revise it with his band-mates. They were under no illusion that their success came off the back of Edward's lyrics and his music, but the popularity of their band and the sheer number of records sold was solely down to their team work.

Edward wasn't so vain or self-absorbed to know when to ask them for their help. If it wasn't for their opinions and input, he knew half of his songs would never have been finished over the years. Their separate outlooks on the music, combined with the way they read the meaning of each and every song brought a different dynamic to the song each and every time.

His alarm clock read 7:03 am when he finally crawled into bed. They had studio time booked all week, but when sleep actually took him, exhausted after his own session, he didn't resurface.

When Stefan let himself in with his own key and found his best friend sleeping, he left him in peace. He wasn't blind - he knew what Edward was going through, knew he wasn't sleeping, barely eating, and never talking.

He had also noticed the scattered sheets of scrawled lyrics and smiled when he realized Edward was getting through it on his own, in the only way he knew how. He left food on the counter and plugged Edward's phone in to charge, knowing he would be groused at for "mothering" him. He only chuckled lightly as he closed the door quietly behind him.

When the colors on the trees changed to vibrant oranges and yellows, Bella found herself looking forward to her favorite season. Sure, everyone loved summer's heat and the smell of freshly cut grass in spring, but hers was the sound of rain hitting her windows or the wind whipping up the waves outside her beach house. Both of those were present in the summer, but when the nights got longer and darker, she was in her element; winter was Bella Swan's comfort zone.

The inquiry into Alec's disappearance was still on everyone's minds, but by October the media frenzy around her life had finally died down enough for her to get back to living as normally as she could.

The nightmares became few and far between, and she slept better - alone - than she ever had while sleeping with Alec.

She turned something that had once just been a house into her home, adding touches here and there that made it more complete. She found she had no one to stop her putting sheets that weren't white on the bed, she could light candles when she went for a long bath, and she could sit in her favorite spot by the fire and curl up with a book.

Bella had never gone so long being single since she started dating, and while she wasn't comfortable, it was different. She wanted to be looked after, sure, but there was a fine line between that and being controlled, and she was scared she'd get sucked into another bad relationship. She knew it was a failure on her part, never having picked a man who would do right by her, and in the hours she spent contemplating her choices, she wondered if there was something wrong with her. What did guys see when they looked at her that made them think she deserved to be owned and thrown about?

She couldn't help the way her mind strayed to _him._

Edward had been the only man in her life so far who had actually made it seem like he cared. He'd undoubtedly saved her life that night - not to mention how he awakened the passion in her with his kiss. But he'd walked away from her without so much as a goodbye or to ask if she'd be okay.

Had he been so repulsed by her, so angry about what she'd unwittingly drawn him into that he couldn't even stand to look at her?

Every party where they both should have been in attendance, he hadn't shown. The one time she was asked to model at a charity event where Fascinate were already booked to perform, they had pulled out citing Edward was suffering from the flu. She knew it wasn't a coincidence. She had heard all the rumors surrounding the leaked snippets of new songs, finding herself intrigued by all the hype surrounding their newest album. Even Bella knew they'd never been so popular before.

She thought she'd seen Stefan around on more than one occasion, but she never stuck around long enough to be sure. The first time she'd been on a magazine shoot, inconveniently arranged on one of the busiest parts of the beach. She'd had huge sunglasses covering her eyes and casting her sight into shade, but she was sure she knew the guy sitting near the water's edge - on a closed set.

Flashing images of that night had infiltrated her brain, and she'd had to excuse herself to ward off a panic attack in public.

The second time had been in her office building. Bella was still just a model, but she began to realize that more people were asking her to sign off on things and give the go ahead on certain projects. When it had suitably freaked her out, she asked Siobhan to make sure everyone knew she wasn't taking over - even in Alec's absence. She'd have no idea how to run a multi-billion dollar company.

She'd been coming out of the empty company canteen - because when do models eat? - when she saw him standing at reception. She'd been tempted to go over and say hi, to ask what he was doing there, to ask how Edward was doing, but she bowed her head and walked through the foyer behind his back.

She cringed when her heels clicked too loudly on the marble floor, but she didn't turn around to see if he had noticed her. Her heart beating frantically in her chest told her he had, though instead of panic or fear, this time sadness and crushing despair had washed over her.

She missed Edward more than she had previously fathomed, and even talking to his best friend, Stefan, would have helped ease her mind.

Every night since she had seen Stefan for the second time, she'd dreamt even more vividly of Edward's green eyes and messy auburn hair. She remembered the kiss she'd made herself forget, the way he'd tasted and the way he'd felt beneath her hands.

When she awoke on the following Monday morning, she'd been both unsatisfied and left with an unyielding yearning that only seemed to grow. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to dig herself out of the dark pit she'd gotten herself into. He just wouldn't leave her thoughts alone, and he probably hadn't even thought twice about her - in _that way_at least.

He had to have been thinking about her _in some way_to go out of his way to avoid her. That hurt even more than her earlier realization.

That morning when she went into work, she asked Siobhan to not include her in any further events that involved Fascinate. Siobhan didn't really question why, she just figured Bella would be reminded of Alec since the band had been at the last party they had attended together.

She'd seen the difference in Bella right from the start. There would be times when she was lighter, happier than she'd ever been, but other times it was like there was a piece of her missing. Siobhan didn't understand why a strong girl like Bella would miss such an evil man who had wronged her so horrifically.

Either way, Bella wouldn't have to wait much longer; in a matter of a few weeks _his_album was set to be released after being postponed to add a new song, and they would be going on their much anticipated world tour.

It was both relieving and painful to realize he wouldn't even be in the same city as her. Until that point she'd taken a sort of comfort in the fact that he was at least near. Would he think of her as much as she did him? Would he miss her when he was away? She doubted it. He'd have a different girl in every city in which he landed - why would he need to think of her?

She decided when that point came she would try her hardest not to care. She'd avoid any tabloid that would have Edward's picture in it, any channel that broadcasted their show, and every interview he did around the world. She didn't want to be reminded of how easy it was for him to move on and forget.

She shook her head sadly as she signed on for yet another perfume ad - she had to move on, too.

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><p><strong>Chapter End Notes:<strong>

**Thoughts?**

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	5. Newborn

Hello there!

We're really, really sorry it's taken us a while to update, but unfortunately RL has gotten in our way. LiveInDakota recently moved from Scotland to Manchester to start going to Uni & I had my son's first birthday to plan, traveled back to Nor Cal for a wedding and his birthday party, then after being up there for a week, came home to find out that i had to get my apartment ready for pest control. Needless to say, neither of us have had much time to write.

So, with that said, unfortunately, we think that it's going to be taking a bit longer for us to update from now on. We hope that you stick around with us, it's just that this is, after all, a collaboration and in it being that, i can't try to keep the story going without LiveInDakota. It just wouldn't be as good. So, if you guys stick around and are patient, i promise you won't regret it!

Now, on to the good stuff.

As always, we don't own Twilight, 30 Seconds To Mars or anything/anyone else mentioned here. If we did, we'd have enough money to actually meet each other!

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><p>Chapter 4 - Newborn<p>

When December finally rolled around and a sense of Christmas hung in the air, Edward gave the crucial nod. It was a month and a half overdue, but Fascinate's new album was finally ready to go. The impending success of their newest instalment had blown him away, and even when they'd postponed, their fans support continued, giving them time to finish that song.

He wondered if maybe it was the delay that had increased their popularity. When the first release date came and went, the media surrounding them only heightened. After he had a good chunk of the final song written, he decided he'd get Stefan and Jasper's help to finish it, name it, and finally, arrange it. It was one thing to write the lyrics and basic melody, but it was an entirely different thing to then sit down with your band mates and make it into a song. Drum rhythms, base chords, guitar riffs, reverbs, and echoes all had to be added to the studio version before it was even slightly ready to run.

While Edward had been writing it, he'd had it in his head to call it Hurricane, but it wasn't until both guys supported his decision that it was officially named.

He didn't know if the guys knew about the song in its first week because their sound engineer, Garrett, had recorded him when he'd first had the idea in the studio. He figured that Garrett would think the idea was a dud, and would leave it alone - apparently that was not the case.

One afternoon just a couple of days before the release, Stefan and Edward grabbed some lunch for Charlotte and themselves from a restaurant in the city before heading back to Edward's new house in Beverly Grove. It had set him back over ten million, but after his night with Bella, he'd needed a fresh start.

When they began eating in the living room, Stefan figured he'd talk to him about the girl who was haunting him. It had been nearly eight months since that night, but it didn't seem like Edward had gotten over her - for Stefan knew the thing bothering his best friend more was Bella, not the monster he'd encountered in her boyfriend.

He decided not to mention how he'd seen Bella in the last eight months, knowing Edward wouldn't take it well. Instead he took a different angle, hoping that finally getting him to talk about it would help. He hadn't complained while Edward had been writing the album, knowing it was a good outlet for his emotions, but to live in perpetual darkness wasn't healthy for anyone. He wouldn't take kindly to the idea of a shrink, so talking to him was he next best thing.

"You know, I was looking through one of those fashion magazines the other day, and I noticed Bella modeled at that gig we were supposed to be at. You know, the one where you begged off with the flu?" Stefan asked sarcastically, knowing his best friend had never had so much as a cold. "Why have you been avoiding her?" he asked with curiosity.

"Do you really think she wants to see the man responsible for her boyfriend's disappearance?" Edward replied shortly, already sounding annoyed.

It was one thing to have her on his mind day in day out, but he didn't want to have to explain himself or his actions. He shook his head angrily to get the picture of her out his head. She'd been everywhere recently.

There had been talk of her giving up modeling after Alec "went missing," but come August she signed herself on with Chanel to do one of the biggest perfume contracts in the world. Edward remembered reading somewhere that she was the first American to work for Chanel. He couldn't help but think they'd made the best choice. _She had to be the sexiest, most beautiful girl out there_, he thought.

Since then, he'd seen her on billboards as he drove through the city, on the cover of magazines that girls had left in the studio, and in the commercials he'd seen on the seldom occasion he watched the TV. She looked beautiful, of course, but the way she had looked after he had kissed her would forever be etched in his mind.

"I was just asking, since I know she's always on your mind. Sorry, I won't bring her up again," he replied simply as he stood, gathering his glass and plate from the coffee table.

"Fuck!" Edward groaned loudly. "You fucking did that deliberately, didn't you?" He seethed, seeing through his best friend's act. He was angry that he'd brought up Bella when he'd tried to keep her private. He'd kept his thoughts, his paranoia, and his growing obsession to himself because there was no way he wanted to share it with anyone, not even Stefan.

"God, Edward, don't you see what you're doing to yourself?" Stefan was equally as enraged, confused as to why his best friend had retreated inside himself and cut himself off from everything everyone by throwing himself into his music; the music that was becoming darker, more sinister in its message.

"There's nothing fucking wrong with me! I don't get what your problem is!" Edward shook his head as his temper calmed once again, making it feel like he was riding a wave, getting tossed back and forth as he tried to keep up with how he was feeling.

Stefan saw the change in Edward, pausing in his path to the kitchen. Was this the moment he finally opened up? Did he honestly not understand and see how he had changed?

"Why can't I just have this? Why can't it just be mine?" Edward whispered hoarsely, causing Stefan to frown. _Did he not see how unhealthy even that statement was? He thought._

"Ed, man, it's not healthy to keep it to yourself. How many fucking times over the years have you told us that we need to share everything, not let anything come between us?"

Edward's head shook back and forth before he took in a deep breath. Stefan might have been surprised at how quickly Edward's mood could change, but he decided not to push it, wanting him to finally start talking about whatever was tearing him apart on the inside.

Stefan sat down again quietly, placing his lunch plate back on the table. He didn't want to force Edward to say anything before he was ready, but he also didn't want his best friend drowning himself in sorrow any longer. He waited patiently, making himself comfortable on the couch, knowing it was going to be hard for Edward.

"I'm going fucking crazy, man. Every time I close my eyes I see that fucker hitting her. Every night that moment where I swore he fucking looked at me as the car went up in flames haunts me. I don't get more than a couple of hours sleep, I'm exhausted and angry all the time...you'd think it would be better during the day, but every time I let myself relax, all I can think about is her."

Edward had sat Stefan down the night after he'd dropped Edward off at Bella's, and had shakily talked him through the night Alec died. He'd been shocked, of course, because he had naively hoped Edward had only seriously harmed him, not actually committed murder like his conscience had been trying to tell him.

Despite Stefan's shock, disappointment and fear, he had still tried his hardest to be there for Edward. Since then they'd steered clear of the topic, knowing it was dangerous for all of them to dwell on it.

Stefan watched as Edward's eyes bored a hole into the table between them. When Edward reached for his bottle of beer, he noticed the way his hand shook. It wouldn't have been seen by anyone else, but Stefan had been noticing the signs for months. He knew Edward wasn't sleeping, and he knew he was working himself into the ground. It weighed down on Stefan more when he really looked at his best friend - he was a mess.

"I know this is going to sound really fucking crazy, but I fucking love her. And before you go off and ask me how because I don't know her; I don't know. I just can't stop thinking about her. Is one night enough to fall in love?" He was talking to himself as he put his head in his hands, crouched over on the edge of his chair.

"Look, Ed, don't question any of it right now, just let it out. Just talk to me. I know you're probably going to laugh, but Jazz and I are worried, dude. And don't get me started on Charlotte; the poor woman is in knots over what might be wrong with you. You're not eating, not sleeping, and you're not talking to anyone about anything. I've been here, man. You barely even notice when there's someone else in the room. I was almost ready to call your grandparents," he said in exasperation.

"Fine," Edward replied shortly. He suddenly stood up and stormed off into the kitchen.

"Don't fucking walk out on me, man! I'm trying to help you!" It was a very seldom thing for the two friends to raise their voices at one another, and Stefan's anger again halted Edward in his tracks.

"Look, I know you're going to take this the wrong way, but maybe you just need a break. Man, the tour can be put on hold. Fuck, you should know you're popular enough to do anything. I'm not standing by and letting you get on that stage until I know you're not going to kill yourself in the process!" Stefan continued.

He was shocked when Edward started laughing, his hands on his knees as he doubled over. "This isn't fucking funny, man. I'm being serious."

"I'm not going to fucking kill myself, Stef. Don't be so damn dramatic."

"If you keep on the way you've been going, you will! I'm not being fucking dramatic, Ed. Have you seen yourself recently? I let it go at first because I knew the album was important to you. I played it off as your fucking creativity! But it's done, it's not more important than you getting help!"

Edward stood still, letting everything he'd heard sink in. As he thought back over the last few months, he didn't find anything wrong with how he'd been going about his days. However, hearing it from someone else, someone who knew him better than he knew himself, made it seem darker than he realized.

_Had he really been that bad?_

He battled the urge to laugh again. Stefan really thought there was something wrong with him. How could being in love be bad? Just because she didn't know, didn't mean it was destroying him. He just had to find a way to move forward until he got his chance.

He felt exhausted at the never-ending turmoil of his emotions as Stefan's concern sank in, knowing any argument with Stefan always made him feel bad. When he heard Charlotte come in through the back door, having made her way from the guest house at the back of the property, he made a split decision to bury his pride and listen to his best friend.

Stefan watched Edward leave quietly, heading toward the kitchen, not knowing what to make of it. He contemplated leaving, but he knew it wouldn't resolve anything - so he waited. A few minutes later Edward came back into the living room with Charlotte in tow.

"Have a seat, Charlotte," he said gently to the older woman. She quietly took a seat next to Stefan - who gave her a soft, reassuring smile.

"Look, Char, you know you're like a mom to me, right?" She nodded, wondering where this was going. "And naturally, I don't like it when you worry about me or when you have that look in your eyes that makes me want to tell you everything. So I think Stef's right, it's time to talk."

Edward couldn't believe how easy it was for him to lie to the only family he'd ever had. He was hiding his anger and frustration at their interference. Edward's personality had changed so much due to the darkness within him, that he could no longer see his best friend and mother figure were simply worried and trying to help him.

He took another deep breath, wondering where to even start.

"I love her. I don't fucking get why you all think there's some major problem with me." He groaned audibly - battling the voice in his head that told him he sounded ludicrous. He was annoyed that he was having to explain himself.

"I can't stop fucking thinking about her. I mean, it feels like she's everywhere I look, like I've been brainwashed with nothing but thoughts of her. And the worst part? I think, no, _I'm sure_ she hates me. I can't tell you why, Charlotte. It's best if you don't know the details." He sat back, rubbing his hands over his face in aggravation. He didn't like thinking about that side of things, the side where he was sure Bella wanted nothing to do with him. _He'd just have to change her mind._

"Honey, are you sure that you're in love with this girl? I mean it sounds like you hardly even know her. Could it be that you may just be in love with the idea of her?" Charlotte asked, looking frightened, hoping Edward wouldn't take her questioning the wrong way.

Edward's anger flared, and he struggled to maintain his composure. He took a few deep breaths before he decided to reply to Charlotte, because he knew that if he screamed at her, she would be extremely hurt, and no matter what, he didn't want to hurt the only motherly figure he had in his life.

"Of course I'm not just in love with the idea of her. Do you think that I don't fucking know the difference between lust and love? Do you really think I'm that stupid, Char? Jesus, I'm fucking twenty-seven. You don't need to talk to me like I'm ten years old and don't know what the fuck is happening!" Edward clenched both his jaw and his fists, trying to contain the rage that coursed though his veins, when he saw Charlotte flinch back from his anger.

Charlotte tried to cover her anguish at the behavior Edward was continuing to show. She felt as if a switch had been flicked, and his entire personality had changed. She had no idea what had happened in the week leading up to their surprise visit from the police, but she was certain it had something to do with it.

"Wait, does all of this have to do with the two officers who came those months ago?" Charlotte asked, now looking terrified. She tried to articulate why his sudden obsession with one girl would have anything to do with the police and came up with nothing but outcomes that worried her even more.

"Yes and no," Edward said through gritted teeth, already regretting his decision to talk.

"You don't have to tell me if you feel that I shouldn't know. Just tell me that you're going to be okay. I just want my boy back. You've been a shell for months. I thought we were losing you," she said, hardly able to choke back her tears. Stefan put his arm around her, whispering quietly into her ear to help soothe her. She only nodded at his urge for her to stay calm before looking back to Edward with a smile.

Edward hadn't realized what he had been doing to his closest friends and family. Something inside told him it should have hurt - or something - to see how concerned they were, but all he felt was aggravation.

He knew he had lost a few pounds and had dark circles under his eyes, but he hadn't thought much of it. He'd been working hard and long to get their album to as high a standard as he could, and now Stefan sat before him telling him he didn't appreciate what he'd done. Kind of. He should have understood where they were coming from, but he didn't. Why weren't they happy that he'd finally found the feeling that had always escaped him. Didn't they want him to be happy?

The one thing that hurt so much more than anything else was the fact that he couldn't forget Bella Swan, no matter how obvious it was that she'd moved on. How had she found it so easy? Why couldn't he?

The last he'd heard, she was in Paris, having gone there for her newest TV ad for Chanel. According to his sources, she had loved it so much she hadn't come home. Edward ignored the painful twinge that happened in his chest when he thought of her never coming back. Sure, it wouldn't be difficult for him to track her down in Paris if he wanted to, but just knowing she no longer wanted to be in L.A, _where he was_, where they had met, hurt.

She obviously wanted to forget it had ever happened. He tried not to think about how much fun she might be having. It was the capital of love - maybe she'd find a man who wasn't violent, a man who was worthy of her, who didn't scare her. Maybe she'd finally find happiness, and if she did then all he could do would be to silently wish her the best.

_There was no way he could manage that,_he thought.

The day ended with false, gritted out promises to his best friend and surrogate mother that he would change.

Charlotte thought he seemed lighter when she served him his breakfast the next day, but she couldn't ignore the sadness floating in his once happy eyes. Stefan only put his demeanor down to the fact that it was finally the release day of their album.

They grinned at each other when Edward pushed his plate away empty for the first time in months. Edward wasn't going to tell them how he could feel it sitting uncomfortably in his stomach, that he had to fight the urge to rid his body of the intrusion.

Instead he smiled through it and took Charlotte shopping as a personal gift for dealing with him. She had always previously objected to him buying her anything, but when she saw him smiling, even slightly, she let him have his way.

To any outsider things looked like they were already back to normal. Edward, however, didn't mention the panic he'd had to fight when a swarm of girls had recognized him outside one of the shops where he'd taken Charlotte. Fans had never even slightly bothered him before, but ever since he'd accumulated a life-threatening secret, he'd been terrified that someone knew somehow.

When Charlotte and he returned, he noticed he'd left his cell phone in the house. In the few short hours they'd been gone he'd already missed over a dozen phone calls and even more text messages. Apparently, most of the record stores had already sold out their copies of the album, and many people were upset that they had resort to purchasing their album online.

Early the next week, Edward was getting ready and packing his bags when he heard a quiet knock on his door. Charlotte walked in looking anxious, like every other time he'd gone on tour since she went to live with him.

"You had to wait until the last minute to pack, didn't you?" she said with a soft smile.

"It wouldn't be like me to pack any other time, now would it?" Edward was beginning to feel the excitement of the impending tour and couldn't contain the smile that spread across his face. The noise, the anticipation, the excitement of a new city, a different culture, all of it only added to the thrill he felt at the thought of it.

"Jasper called. He said they'll be here in fifteen minutes, so please come down for breakfast before they come and take you away." She quietly walked to the door and was about to close it when Edward replied.

"Yes, Mom," he said, smiling. He knew that saying just those two words would be enough to make her day.

When he finally descended the stairs with his bags and guitar cases in tow, he noticed Charlotte had been keeping herself busy because the ground floor of his home was immaculately clean. No matter what way he looked at it, he knew he'd miss it, _miss her_. The smell coming from the kitchen suddenly brought him out of his thoughts, and when he walked those few short steps into the kitchen, he finally realized why Charlotte had been so excited about breakfast.

As she made him sit down, she brought him the plate that was responsible for the wonderful aroma. He knew she'd gone to great lengths to get him his guilty pleasure: a Sir Michael from Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles. A quarter of a chicken, smothered in gravy with onions, a side of grits, and a biscuit.

Then, on the next plate, she brought two fluffy waffles with butter and syrup. Edward had to refrain himself from rubbing his hands together comically at the feast in front of him. It had become a sort of tradition for Char to make him his favorites the morning he left for an extended period of time. The soft smile she sent him when he looked up was enough to tell him she was thinking the same thing. His tour, after all, would span nearly six months. Thankfully he'd be much closer to home for the last seven weeks.

He was about to tell her how thankful he was when the doorbell started ringing like crazy. Not thirty seconds later did he hear the door slam - his two partners in crime had arrived. When they walked into the kitchen, Jasper dived immediately for the waffles, resulting in he and Stefan fighting over them. Charlotte immediately silenced the two fighting friends with a flourish of more waffles for each one.

"Damn, Eddie. You don't know how lucky you have it!" Jasper mumbled around his mouthful of waffle.

"Trust me, man. I do," he groaned in reply, causing Charlotte to laugh delightedly.

"Now, now, boys, I don't spoil him. It's not every day he goes on tour, and I like to make sure that he remembers he has a home," Charlotte said as she sat down to have breakfast with the boys. "By the way, Edward, this isn't your only surprise. If I'm correct, it should be here within the next couple of minutes," she mentioned with a sly smile.

The next minutes were passed quietly as they all consumed the food in front of them, every now and again moaning or groaning; it had been the only sound to confirm their adoration. As Edward was finishing up his food, the doorbell rang, and before Charlotte could get up, he insisted that he get it. When he opened the door, he suddenly knew why she had been so secretive the night before.

He opened it widely to let his guests in, but as they walked by, they each gave Edward a hearty hug. His grandparents had come to see him off, all thanks to Charlotte. They knew that Edward's job kept him away from them for longer than they liked, and when Charlotte had contacted them about her surprise the previous night, they quickly agreed to show up.

Esme thought about how glad she was that Edward was able to have someone live with him whom he'd known most of his life. She also knew that Charlotte had become more than just help around the house to both them and Edward.

She knew they were perfect for each other as surrogate mother and son way back when Charlotte told her that Edward hugged her one day in the Cullen household, just after she'd finished doing his laundry. So when Edward's career began to take off, Esme only thought it was natural to have him be helped around the house by someone he already knew and trusted.

Esme and Carlisle watched as Jasper and Stefan, and finally Charlotte, walked into the living room to join them. They watched carefully as Edward made room for Charlotte beside him and threw his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her to him after she sat down. After a moment of silence, Carlisle decided he'd begin the conversation.

"So, boys, what time is the tour bus getting here?" he asked, as he slipped his arm around his wife.

"It should be here within the hour, Mr. Cullen," Stefan said, feeling again like the scared and confused teenager he'd been when he had first met Carlisle.

"Oh, please, son, call me Carlisle. After all these years, it's the least you deserve," Carlisle responded in jest.

After the initial shock and awkwardness of having Edward's grandparents there wore off, they finally fell into a steady and easy conversation before Esme finally broke her silence.

"Have you been sick, Edward? You're looking awfully thin, love." Esme didn't miss the worried glance that passed between Charlotte and Stefan, and her own worry kicked in.

"Grandma, I'm eating fine. I just had a little rough patch while working on the new album, but now that it's done I'll be right back to normal."

"You better!" she replied, and everyone chuckled when he audibly groaned.

When the bus pulled up outside his semi-secluded home, Edward gave his grandparents a copy of his touring schedule, the same he'd given Charlotte, and promised he'd get in touch as often as he could. It was different now from when they'd started out. Back then they were young and inexperienced. The first time they toured the States, Charlotte had gone with them so they had someone to keep them grounded in all the madness. They'd done it so many times now, that daily phone calls to his grandparents were slightly unnecessary.

Once their bags and even more numerous guitars were on the bus, they turned and looked at their small unit. They hugged, kissed, and the women cried before they finally boarded the bus and took off down the hill, passing the celeb houses that no longer held any interest for them. They'd been to parties in most of them, and after a while you either discovered either you didn't like the owners of said houses or they were just normal people. Much like the three best friends who had navigated their way through a craze-filled world and for their part remained themselves.

Shortly after they left, Charlotte invited Esme and Carlisle inside for some tea. They spent the rest of the morning in the kitchen, talking and laughing, and when Carlisle excused himself to the restroom, Charlotte decided it would be the time to confide in Esme.

"Esme, I have to tell you something, and I know that you above anyone else will understand."

"Is it about, Edward? Is something wrong?" Esme asked; her panic from earlier resurfacing.

"Yes, well, here goes. I went to check on his packing early this morning, and after our conversation he called me Mom. Not only that, but a few days ago when I told him I was concerned about him losing weight, he said he considered me a mother figure. You have no idea how much it means to me. I'm over the moon about it. I just didn't know how to tell you," she said, finally taking a much needed breath.

Esme didn't know what to say, but she was so happy that Edward had what he'd spent his life without, and that he was comfortable enough to finally believe in it. The two women hugged, and she was in the middle of telling Charlotte how happy she was when Carlisle walked back in.

"Am I interrupting something?" Carlisle asked with a cocked eyebrow and a smile so like his grandson's that it made both women grin in return.

"Oh, honey, Char has just told me such wonderful news!" Esme exclaimed with tears in her eyes. She proceeded to fill him in, her eyes glistening with un-shed tears when her husband smiled softly at her.

"With you two to guide him, there was no doubt he'd get there eventually. He doesn't need to label you, he knows you're there for him," he responded genuinely.

It was the only thing that needed to be said before Carlisle hugged both of them and decided to take them out to lunch in celebration. They all knew that it had been a big breakthrough on their part; they all wanted Edward to overcome the loss of both his mom and dad, and they wanted to make sure that he had a positive influence in his life. They had known for years that Charlotte would be good for him, but for him to recognize it, was more progress than he'd ever made before.

With the high of the mood continuing throughout the afternoon, Charlotte decided to keep her concerns about Edward to herself. If he'd wanted his grandparents to know what he'd been going through, he'd have told them.

Esme had already noticed the slightness to his frame. Alerting her to the darkness in which Edward had been suffering; and still was, would only cause her to worry more while he was away. Charlotte knew him too well to fall for his charade, she knew he couldn't change in just a few days. He'd need time to battle his demons and overcome whatever it was that was haunting him.

Maybe the love he so required would find him on the road - or maybe she could do her own detective work and find out who this girl in his head was.

She couldn't imagine that Bella hated him like Edward thought - simply because Charlotte knew there was nothing in him to hate.


	6. Resistance

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**W****e**** apologise profusely for your wait! We had to submit to PTB, & thus begin at the very beginning again until the chapters were done! But it's here now!**

**Recap: Edward killed Alec, he and Bella then destroyed the evidence with the help of Stefan, shared a passionate kiss and went their separate ways. Since, neither have seen each other, Edward avoiding Bella because he thinks he destroyed Bella's innocence and that she'd believe him to be a monster. Bella on the other hand thinks Edward is so disgusted by his actions that he doesn't want her as a reminder of what he's done. Bella now runs Alec's multi-billion dollar company - with help from a board - and has been signed to Chanel, working in Paris. Edward has been pouring his growingly tormented soul into his music and has reached a very very dark place.**

**Hopefully that covers it all! :D**

**We both thank you for your patience, and hope that you're all still with us!**

**Onwards!**

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><p>Chapter 5 - Resistance<p>

Edward loved and hated going on tour. Being on the tour bus, going from city to city, gave him time to lock himself away and simply shut himself out of the world.

Their first tour had been new and exciting and had kept all three boys engaged, yearning for more. More fame, more fans, more coverage and more money.

However, their first tour had only been "domestic." They were new, and the record company had been hesitant in putting their faith in their supposed success. Tour number one had only consisted of twelve tour dates across the main cities of the States. The record execs learned their lesson the first time – more dates were demanded across the board, and the first album took off with more events up and down the country.

Tour number two took them to Canada, South America, and London.

Album three rocketed to the top of the charts and resulted in the longest one yet – a sixty-four date worldwide tour. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were taking off. In a way, their first worldwide tour had been a novelty, too. New cities, new people and most importantly, new fans.

The three guys found it hard to describe to the press, but it was undeniable; their fan base Korea was completely different – although just as devoted – as their fans in France. There was something different to be experienced in each new arena they entered.

Now, it was all old news. Edward had found himself treating the world he travelled a little differently than the way he had five years ago. Stefan and Jasper still hit the newest and hottest clubs in each city, and Edward would join them too most of the time, but he realized that he preferred the solidarity.

As they left America and headed for Europe, Edward had managed to get a handle on his newfound anxiety around hoards of people. Of course, it was different when he was on stage, he could block all that out, but the screaming fans and clicking shutters of paparazzi cameras in airports and shopping malls freaked him out.

His hands would sweat and his spine would prickle every time he entered an interview room, despite knowing the interviewer had a set list of questions to ask. He was on edge, awaiting the moment someone would ask him about his disappearance from his own party that night: the missing moments that happened to coincide with the disappearance of an important but ruthless man. In a way, he had to see it as a simple coincidence, because if anyone knew the truth of what happened that night, he was sure that his whole livelihood would change.

In reality he was saving a woman from her abusive asshole of a boyfriend, but the world wouldn't see it like that.

He was a murderer. Plain and simple. Cold and heartless.

It was still hard for him to even think the words. He'd _murdered_someone. Taken another man's life in a moment of blind fury over a woman he didn't even know and probably never would.

He had every right to be afraid, he was the world's worst sort of monster.

He had to assure himself each time he sat in an interview that no one knew of his violence, that there was nothing more than a few drunken brawls in his public record. He had to remind himself that no one would possibly make a connection between himself and the head of _Volterra_ modelling.

Edward and Alec ran in completely different circles, and as far as the majority of the population knew, Edward was just a self-obsessed, playboy rocker. Why would they, or Detective McCarty, suspect him for anything other than taking two girls home with him for some "after party" fun?

So instead of joining his friends, most nights found him on his bunk on the tour bus with his beloved six-string. It gave him time he'd never had before to write more material. Never before had he crafted even more songs while being swamped with tour and press duties.

The downside of more time to himself was the inevitability of his thoughts catching up with him. Aside from toying with chords and rifts on his guitar, he found himself thinking about Bella frequently. He wondered how she would be doing and if she ever thought about him at all.

He hadn't had a chance to keep up with the tabloids, in fact, he stayed away from them because more often than not, it was his own face reflected back at him from the magazine stands.

Due to this, he had no idea what she was up to. Would she _still_be in Paris? It had been nearly two months since the boys had left home, doing extended dates over the States. Was it possible she had stayed in the capital since then?

He wondered if she had managed to move on, if she'd managed to ward off suspicion from the detectives. His thoughts often drifted to the kindness he'd seen in Detective McCarty and if he'd done his utmost to help Bella. But he told himself repeatedly he shouldn't think about Bella, or much less Detective McCarty, if he was going to be able to do this tour.

When they arrived in Paris, Jasper and Stefan were awestruck when Edward mentioned that he wanted to see more of the sights. He had their road manager, Jacob, call a few museums to see if they would let him visit during a lunch hour or something, in order to avoid the crowds and the screaming fans.

Jacob was finally able to get him into the Louvre, and the next day Edward was off there. He was amazed at how many times he'd been to Paris but hadn't seen much other than the venues, hotels and the streets their bus rode on. The last time they were there, he'd only been able to see the Eiffel Tower from afar. So this time he was determined that he would see more.

Inside the Louvre, he was able to clear his thoughts of everything and simply enjoy the art. He seemed to get inspiration from the different works, and the realization of his self-torment all came together at that moment, like an epiphany.

He made his way through yet another high archway into the Rembrandt exhibition and couldn't help but laugh out loud when he saw that Rembrandt's rendition of Jesus. It looked a lot like "tour Stefan" when he was too busy wooing the girls and partying to shave or bother with his appearance. He made sure the flash on his phone was off before he sneakily snapped a quick picture of his best friend.

After spending a few hours mostly alone, he began to realize he was revelling in the difference between his fame in Los Angeles and Europe where he could actually walk among normal people and be left alone. Surrounded by some of the world's best art, he found himself enjoying the peace and tranquillity and could feel the difference in himself when he came out feeling refreshed.

He felt he was going out of his way to prove to everyone else he was okay. He knew the guys were worrying about him and wondering whether his reserved attitude was a good thing or if he was about to crack under the pressure he was keeping bottled up. But more than that, he himself wanted to go back to the way he used to be – before that night, _before Bella._

He knew it would be pointless trying to forget her completely, but he was finally coming to terms with the fact that hanging onto a night for all the wrong reasons would destroy him.

He'd been in Paris for over a week, and every time he turned a corner or looked out of the rental car's window, he thought he saw her long mahogany hair in the French sunshine. He would have sworn she walked past the window when the three of them were doing an interview in a little bookshop in the centre of the city.

It wasn't healthy, and he knew that. His mind was overflowing with images of Bella and what he'd seen that night, but something inside him was beginning to nag at him. He took a life that night – he murdered someone – surely he should be thinking of that instead? Surely he should be close to breaking down because of his guilt and disgust at his actions? Not because he was missing a girl he didn't even know.

Edward shook his head as he emerged back out into the cool sunlight, the sun glinting off the glass pyramid that rose from the otherwise ordinary space in front of him. He smiled as he slipped his sunglasses on as an argument between two Frenchmen reaching his ears and his eyes took in the bright day.

One was obviously a Parisian, ranting about the fact that it was a "scar on the face of Paris," that it did not belong with their ancient history, and it was too modern for a city built on architecture of the past. The other, a tourist who was seeing it for the first time, but French nonetheless, was adamant that it was taking his capital city in a new direction, that the other man was old and stuck in his ways, and that the rest of the world would look upon its unassuming magnificence and smile. Paris was all about statements, art, and difference after all.

A young mother jostled passed, brought Edward out of his reverie, and he stepped aside as two boys laughing ran straight through the space he had been standing in moments before. The young woman apologized with an exhausted laugh, and before she had the chance to recognize him, Edward waved her off with a smile and headed left towards the Seine.

As he watched the crowds milling around him – _ignoring _him – something changed inside him. They all had their own problems, worries, and pressures, and they could go about their day and put on a brave face. Up until that point he hadn't even managed that, he knew he'd sulked and retreated into himself, and above all, it was selfish.

Stefan and Jasper needed him at the top of his game. One of them understood what he was going through, but neither of them deserved to be pushed away or shut out, They were supposed to be his best friends, and he had to start treating them as such.

With a decisive nod, he told himself that he wasn't going to lose it: not because of what happened, and not because of a woman.

His previous thoughts came back to him, and he found he was frustrated with the whole situation. He was mad that he'd witnessed Alec hurting her, but most of all, he was angry at himself because he'd lost control.

He was angry because it shouldn't have taken him nearly six months to realize he had killed someone. Sure, he knew it had happened, obviously, he had been there, but it was only just sinking in. He was responsible for taking a life.

Edward didn't know what else he could have done. Would anyone else in that situation have just looked away? As he walked, he wondered if anyone else would have killed to save another life. As a brisk wind picked up off the river, he buttoned up his coat and bent his head, still paranoid a bunch of screaming girls would suddenly spot and ambush him.

He heard a car honk, and he noticed Jacob pull up in their unmarked black sedan. Sometimes Edward wondered if their manager had them fitted with GPS tracking units, because despite the afternoon traffic and Edward's movements, Jacob still managed to find him.

They rode back to the hotel in silence, Edward but back a complaint as they drove straight passed Notre Dame. Maybe he could do it before they left. _Oh, and the Eiffel Tower, _he thought. He bristled at the thought that he might actually have to ask permission. When had he begun to hate all the little things about this life that never bothered him before?

Pulling into the underground parking lot, Edward thanked Jacob tersely and went to get ready for the show, knowing if he stayed for a chat, he'd say something he'd regret. Jacob was a decent guy and it was his job to put up with them, but Edward had always felt guilty if he treated someone badly who was only there to help him.

Edward shook his head, trying to ignore the looks he was receiving from Stefan. His nerves were getting the best of him, not that that was a new thing right before they went on stage, but something felt different.

Any time he had caught Stefan's eye since their arrival at the arena, he had felt there was something he knew that Edward didn't. He could read it in his eyes, see it in the way Stefan opened his mouth to tell him something and then change his mind.

"Something isn't right," Edward mumbled to himself, but everyone in the room heard him.

"Ed, man, seriously, stop kidding around." Jacob's voice was panicked as he looked Edward over one more time. "Just walk it off. You have to be walking to the stage, like, now!"

The crowd chose that moment to pick up in their excitement. The guys could hear the chanting, feel the vibrations of thousands of feet in unison, and even Edward knew he couldn't delay any longer. Whatever was nagging at him had to be put aside because it was his job to go out there and rock it.

"I suppose we have a show to do." Edward shrugged with a forced smile. Jasper led the way out of their dressing room, and Edward narrowed his eyes when Stefan stopped at the door, daring him to say whatever was bothering him. However, he only shook his head when their eyes met before turning and leaving.

Edward smiled when he heard Jacob's childlike "Yes!" follow him down the corridor and shook himself out of his stupor once and for all.

The anticipation grew with every step he took, and the adrenaline pumped furiously through his veins as all three friends bounced onto the stage one after the other. Jasper took his seat behind the gleaming drumkit while Stefan and Edward headed towards their respective guitars and spots.

With screaming and applause ringing in his ears, a spotlight trained on him and blinding his sight from much more than the front row, the opening chords of their best-selling single from the previous album filled the air.

When the appreciation grew in the room, they all knew it was going be a special night. They could always tell by the immediate reaction of their crowd what kind of night it was going to be.

The alcohol had flowed for most of the night. Spirits had been high, and the guys were drunk on the feeling of their show as the after party began. Stefan had obviously forgotten whatever it was that had been standing between him and Edward, and the latter had finally succumbed to the party scene.

_There was nothing wrong with celebrating a great show, _Edward had thought.

The morning after, however, none were happy when Jake came knocking loudly on their suite door. It felt like they had only just collapsed on top of their respective beds when the intrusion came. They probably had.

Jacob barged in regardless, then proceeded to shake Edward until he woke up. He sat up startled, trying to cover the panic that had come with him out of his dream. Seeing that it was only their manager, his heart rate calmed.

Jacob left him to throw some decent clothes on before leaving to do the same thing to the other two guys. Edward emerged bleary eyed into the living room between the three bedrooms and smiled faintly when he saw the other two were in just as bad shape, rubbing their eyes as they slumped on the couch. Edward hoped that Jacob had a good reason for waking them so early when he knew they'd been up all night with copious amounts of expensive champagne. They were in France, after all.

"I know that you guys would kill me if I didn't have a good reason to wake you, but you just have to see the article written about last night's show!" Jacob said excitedly.

"Jake, couldn't you have waited for us to read it at our own pace after...I don't know...waking up?" Edward asked in annoyance, his hangover looming over him the longer he sat still.

"No, and I'll explain to you why, Ed. Better yet, here, read it for yourself," Jacob said, thrusting the paper in Edward's direction.

Edward gave it a minute for his eyes to adjust to the differing sizes of print in front of him before clearing his throat and beginning to read aloud. He realized it wasn't such an easy feat with a mouth as dry as his, but he prevailed and read to his two barely conscious friends.

On the front page was a big picture of Edward and the guys on stage with a small article underneath it. Edward began reading, his interest picking up.

_'Fascinate gave the performance of a lifetime last night at __Flèche d'or__, here in Paris.' _The article began. _'We are not yet sure what inspired their latest album – Cullen, their principal song writer, remaining tight lipped during their recent press tour – but as fans exited the venue, they raved about this possibly being the best performance they'd ever seen. Edward Cullen had never been seen being so, for lack of a better word, free, at a performance before, and we're glad that it happened here, in the City of Love. One of the best songs of the night was their new single, Hurricane, which seems to connect with all their fans to an almost primal level, and we were glad to have been there to have witnessed this amazing experience to share with all of you. For more on the concert that rocked the city last night, turn to page 4A.'_

Edward looked up to find all three guys grinning from ear to ear. "Wow."

Jasper and Stefan knew that the trip to the Louvre had done him good but hadn't realized just how good, until they saw him on stage. It was like having the old Edward back again, but somehow better.

Stefan knew he had failed to hide his indecision from Edward. He also felt like Edward knew something was going on, and he wondered why he hadn't spoken about when Edward had finally gotten himself on stage, there was no denying the change in him.

Stefan had no idea what happened to his best friend in the few hours he had been in the Louvre – the few hours he knew he'd have to fill him in on at some point – but the change in him was undeniable. Stefan wondered if he knew, but how could he? He shook his head. If Edward knew he wouldn't be sitting with them with a smile on his face.

Also remembering his sobering day at the museum, Edward jumped up off the recliner and went to his phone, bringing up the photo he'd taken of Stefan's lookalike. He handed it over to Stefan and they both began laughing hysterically until it made its way around to Jasper and Jake, and they too, soon joined in.

When the laughter finally died down, they all sat quiet for a minute or so before Jasper finally spoke up.

"So, really, Stef, were you Jesus in another lifetime?" he managed to ask before the laughter took over the four of them all over again.

Stefan was far from religious, but even he knew that lying was sort of a sin. He was no Jesus, especially when he was hiding something from his best friend. He bottled up the turmoil inside of him, and decided to make the most of the fun they could have while Edward was feeling better about himself.

Dublin.

Lisbon.

Madrid.

Dubai.

Munich.

Berlin.

Rome.

Warsaw.

Jerusalem.

Each city came and went in a blur of celebrations, rave reviews, and screaming fans. Edward's language barriers were tested as he tried to answer at least a few questions in the host country's language during their incessant press tour and felt happy when their fans appreciated them all the more for it.

Marriage proposals and sexy lingerie were thrown at the band time and again, and Edward noticed that while once he used to laugh it off and smile sexily at the culprit, it now all made him slightly uncomfortable.

Edward spent more time with Stefan and Jasper, and they were getting along better than ever. It seemed that finally they were getting closer after Edward's self-imposed separation because he was finally done pushing them away.

Before they knew it, Europe was done and they had to return to the U.S. Their first batch of tickets had initially sold out so quickly that they had decided to come back and do a few more nights for all the fans that didn't get to see them.

Edward hid the way his chest constricted on the plane. He wasn't sure why he had become so attached to a continent, but the general thought of leaving Europe behind was making him feel lost. _I'm going home,_ he thought_. I__t shouldn't feel like a prison sentence._

He had begun to feel comfortable again. He was enjoying performing and acting it up for the fans. He was no longer faking, because he _was _having fun; he was living his dream. Crowds no longer bothered him; he'd just affix his cocky smirk and saunter through after their body guards. He flirted with interviewers, internally chuckling when the female would blush and stutter her next question.

He still had his moments when he would begin to feel the anxiety rise inside of him – like his episode on the trans-continental flight – but he reminded himself time and time again that no one other than Stefan and Bella knew about his dirty secret.

New York.

Boston.

Philadelphia.

Springfield.

Charleston.

D.C.

Charlotte.

Atlanta.

The venues kept filling up, and the reviews kept getting better. The boys accepted the mentions of a performance rebirth while in Europe, embracing the feeling of being more successful than ever. Every few nights, Edward released the pent up tension on the stage, and everyone loved him for that. The passion and feeling that he added to the songs left both fans and critics alike, talking about it like they were going out of style.

When they were finally back in LA, they were scheduled to meet the potential director for their "Hurricane" music video after a special appearance and show at the Montague Hotel in Laguna Beach.

Edward had noticed in their two days since they had returned to LA, Stefan had been quiet and withdrawn. He had half a mind to ask his best friend what was bothering him, but every attempt while on tour had been shot down.

With Stefan staying firmly in his own rented apartment and staying clear of his space at Edward's, Edward decided to make his own way there. He couldn't help the gnawing feeling inside that told him Stefan was hiding something from him, but at the time, he also couldn't help but feel happy that he got to drive his beloved Aston Martin and enjoy it for himself. It was a Vanquish, but what made it even more precious, was that it was a jet-black convertible, one of only around thirty ever made. It was his baby, his "special occasion" car.

_Hurricane _was very quickly becoming their biggest ever selling single, so it _was_a special occasion.

With his sunglasses slipped down over his eyes and the engine roaring beneath him, he felt freer than he had in months as he made the commute to Laguna Beach.

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><p><strong>Author's Chapter End Notes:<strong>

**So, what do we think? Sort of a transition chapter, but we had to get you into Edward's head to see how he was doing! Drop us a line if you wish :D**

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**Devilsgenie & LiveInDakota**


	7. Desolation

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all! Sorry this is around a week late! **

**Thanks to everyone who reviews - there's only a handful but we love you anyway - if you didn't get a reply (cedward) you have your private messaging disabled and we can't get back to you :D:D**

**Onwards!**

**More Bella than Edward in this chapter, and she finally plucks up the courage to go visit our Edward...woo...**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 - Desolation<strong>

As Siobhan watched Bella pose for what seemed to be the millionth time, she was glad that she'd managed to convince her to return to the modelling world. She knew Alec had never actually thought something might happen to him when he had called in his lawyer only a few months before his disappearance. Shortly after bruises started magically appearing on Bella's skin, he had his legal team put everything in Bella's name in the case that something were to happen.

Siobhan couldn't understand his motives when she'd learned of it. Surely an act such as that would mean he cared about Bella? That he wanted to make sure she was looked after when he was incapable? So why then, did he abuse her, use her, and disregard her when they were actually together? None of it made sense.

Nevertheless, Siobhan had been with Bella almost every day since Alec's disappearance, and she'd finally broken her silence, telling Bella she'd known about Alec abusing her. She thought Bella would have cut all ties with her after that emotional day, but instead, their friendship became stronger, and Bella had asked for her help when it came down to running the company.

With the help of Siobhan, Alice, and the company's team of attorneys, Bella had managed to implement a new policy. Any model, photographer, or staff member was required to report to management if any of the models bore suspicious injuries; including bruises.

If the models were having problems in their personal lives, they were asked that they let management know, and they would be given time to deal with it or, if they wanted, they would be encouraged to go forward and talk to the police with the company by their side.

Word somehow reached Detective McCarty, and one afternoon he called Bella so that he could check on her. She was both pleased and terrified to hear from him, but when he explained that it was to congratulate her on her new policy and her encouragement to have abuse victims come forward, she couldn't help but feel good about her choice.

Bella had thrown herself wholeheartedly into her work, so much so that she hardly had time to breathe, let alone let herself think of Edward or his band. At night, however, the tears always came, and the thoughts and nightmares from that night never managed to go away.

Her dreams would vary from sensual scenes of Edward and herself, in both loving and passionate embraces, to exaggerated memories of the night he rescued her. She had long since come to terms with the fact Alec was dead, and that Edward had murdered him, but there was still a part of her that held true to the belief that he was also her hero.

She found herself conflicted over her thoughts, at war with herself over what was right and what was wrong. Violence was never the answer to anything; she would never condone abuse or killing in the name of anyone. Yet when it came to the choice between her life and Alec's, she'd choose her own every time. She was scared of being alone, but even more so, she was scared of dying. Scared of passing from this world with no one to care that she was gone, and without having made a mark on the world first.

Edward had saved her from Alec, but he had also saved her from her biggest fear. She was living and breathing, getting on with life, moving up and trying her hardest to make a difference.

When Bella received the offer from Chanel, she immediately agreed to the contract, and before she knew it, she was on her way to Paris. At first, the thought of being alone in the capital of romance and love made her whole body ache with an unknown feeling, but the need to get away and start again was too strong.

Paris was beautiful, of course, but Bella found herself thinking what it would be like to be there with a loved one – or better yet, with Edward. Would they relax and take their time to see all the famous landmarks? Would they walk hand and hand down the Champs de Elysees? Have coffee and croissants at quaint little cafés? She couldn't help the way her mind strayed to him every time she looked upon something new.

In a way, Paris was both a blessing and a curse. She had wanted to get away from all the talk of Fascinate's new album and tour. In going to Paris, she found the reprieve, but what she didn't expect was the gaping hole in her chest from not knowing where he was or if he was even okay. She cut herself off from the media as much as she could, but her fingers twitched over the Google app on her phone. Only a few key strokes and she'd know everything there was to know about the band and Edward.

The contract with Chanel had almost wrapped up when Fascinate made their way to Europe, and she wouldn't have to return to Paris for another few weeks. Bella was glad that she was once again escaping, rrationally thinking Edward would track her down and exact some kind of revenge on her for putting him in such a position. Her nightmares even changed to reflect this new fear – that Edward did hate her and wanted nothing more than to forget she existed – and she was happy when she returned to L.A.

Over too many martinis the night of her return, Bella finally confided her feelings for Edward to Alice. Her best friend sat quietly and drank in the details, from the way Bella missed him, his touch, and his words to her having to hold herself back from going to him and begging for just a minute of his time. Alice learned Bella had closed herself off because she was scared of giving a man that kind of power over her, knowing all of her previous relationships had been the wrong choice.

Neither woman believed Edward could possibly be that way, Alice still being in the dark about him catching Alec abusing Bella. Bella had thought it best to leave that whole night out in case it led to questions she couldn't answer.

Alice had promptly snatched up her phone and Googled Edward's name. Bella had refused to look, and instead, watched her best friend's reactions to the articles she read and the photos she saw. When Alice looked up smiling sadly, Bella wondered if the true nature of Edward was shown by the ever present company of beautiful women at his side.

At the end of the night, with Bella's heart aching even more despite having offloaded its turmoil, Alice advised her to confront her feelings and their source. She made it sound so easy – go and see him, tell him the truth and lay it all out there. What was the worst that could happen? Alice had asked.

Bella refused the idea, deciding it was time for bed. She felt pathetic when she cried herself to sleep that night over the loss of a man she'd never had, and she buried her face in her pillow to stop Alice from hearing her.

Fascinate had just performed in Madrid and were on their way to Paris when Bella got the call to go back to the city, oblivious to her overlapping schedule with Edward.

Packed and ready to leave, she got a surprise visit from Detective McCarty at Volterra, where she'd stopped by to sign more paperwork.

"Bella, there's a Detective McCarty here to see you," Siobhan said through the intercom, later that morning.

Bella hid her reaction, ignoring the way her heart hammered in her chest. _What if he'd found something? _she thought."Sure, show him through. Oh, and please hold my calls while he's in. I don't want to be disturbed until the meeting is over," Bella briskly replied.

Detective McCarty squeezed through the door when Siobhan opened it, and Bella offered him a seat across from her desk.

"Detective McCarty, how can I help you? Are there any new findings to Alec's disappearance?" she asked with anxiousness.

Emmett heard the concern in her voice and suddenly felt bad for returning to her empty handed, although he had thought that she had surely moved on by then. He couldn't understand why a woman who had been so severely battered could be so worried for the person who'd hurt her. _Maybe her frame of mind is like people with Stockholm syndrome, _he thought.

"No, Miss Swan. I'm sorry, but there have been absolutely no leads since the case was opened. It's almost like the earth opened up and swallowed him whole."

"Please, call me Bella. And to be honest, I'm not surprised. I don't know if Alec had any friends, and I know I couldn't tell you how many enemies he had." Then as if to herself, she mumbled, "But I know he thought he was untouchable."

"Look, Bella, there was another reason that I came today. It was my job to look into Alec's background, you – this company – I know what kind of man he was. I understand that at the time you may not have wanted anyone to know, and I can assure you it was all confidential, but, Bella, we know what he did to you.

"More people than I can count confirmed it when we came to question the employees here after his disappearance, and the consensus was that he deserved whatever may have happened to him. I wanted to let you know that if we have no new leads within the next five weeks, his case will be marked as a missing persons only. We can't open a murder inquiry without sufficient evidence, despite the way it may look."

Bella found herself incapable of holding eye contact and looked down, scared her fear would be construed by the Detective as something different. Talk of murder inquiries and evidence had her on edge. His assurance that Alec would remain a missing person, and his inflection that he didn't much care either way, was lost on her as she battled to stay calm.

"I heard about your new policy, Bella. I admire you for trying to help others. But why didn't you ever tell anyone?"

"Look at our history with the tabloids," she said, beginning to sound angry. "Do you really think anyone would have believed me if I'd said he hit me? He paid off doctors to treat me when I had broken bones, bribing them so they wouldn't say anything. He never once hit my face – until that night – because he knew he had to keep up appearances. I couldn't take it any longer, and I decided to stand up to him. You saw the bruises and swelling, and that was just my face. I couldn't be in a relationship like that anymore, but I've never known anything else. I didn't know that wasn't normal until I finally opened my eyes," Bella explained between sobs.

Emmett walked around her desk and hugged her fragile form. He offered her the handkerchief from his pocket, and she wiped her eyes gently. She felt terrible for not telling him the entire truth, but she was sure her need to protect Edward would always overshadow anything and everything else.

After Bella calmed herself, she thanked Emmett for being so kind and checking on her. She promised she would let him know when she returned from Europe and would accept his invitation to meet his girlfriend.

Emmett thought that if Bella met his Rose, she would have someone she could confined in, and someone to guide her into finding a healthy relationship.

Bella had been in Paris for a few days when she heard that Fascinate had arrived and would be performing there for two nights. She wanted to tell Edward that he had nothing to worry about in regards to Alec's case, so she asked Siobhan to discreetly track down where they were staying.

Without questioning her friend's actions, Siobhan returned with the hotel name and the number of the room that they were staying in. She didn't ask Bella what it was about because she figured it was business related, as she was sure they had never met before. Siobhan was well aware of Edward Cullen's reputation, as a PA who had been around for a few years; she knew perfectly well just how many supermodels he had landed on his way to the top.

She bit her tongue and kept her thoughts to herself when she watched Bella leave to meet with him. Bella was beautiful, that was without question. She was one of the most in demand supermodels out there, and the one thing that concerned Siobhan was that Edward would see her as a conquest to add to his list.

Sure, it certainly wouldn't be bad publicity for Bella to be linked with the hottest rock star on the planet, but she didn't want her friend to get hurt. Edward was a player, and that definitely wasn't the kind of man Bella needed in her life. He would only complicate things further. Little did Siobhan know, that Edward was actually the hero in many of Bella's dreams.

As Bella reached the steps of Edward's hotel, a sudden bout of nerves washed over her. Questions that she hadn't thought of came to mind and played with her like a marionette. _What if he didn't care to know what was going on with the case? What if he hadn't wanted to see me ever again? What if all I see is disgust on his face? Will I have the strength to walk away again?_

She rested her hip against the high marble wall that lined the side of the sweeping outside stairs and breathed deeply. The fresh late-winter air filled her lungs as the weak sun shone down on the little skin she braved to keep uncovered. She wasn't used to such crisp temperatures for that time of year, but she was sure the goose bumps that erupted over her were more to do with who she was about to see rather than the Parisian weather.

When she thought sufficient enough time had already passed, and she'd managed to get a grip on her frayed emotions, she held her head high and finished her ascent into the hotel. If she thought her own hotel had been something to behold, then it was nothing compared to the lavish, yet understated, style the boys of Fascinate had chosen.

As Bella took in the reception area, with its high ceilings and marble finishes, she could immediately picture Edward there. The Edward she knew. The one whose emotions changed as often as the weather, who could be volatile yet caring and considerate in the same breath. The Edward, she had to remind herself, who she'd only known for a matter of hours. She had to remind herself that she never really knew him at all and that everything she'd built up in her head was most probably just that – fabricated.

She was fooling herself if she continued to believe she knew him. Maybe she could allow herself to believe that she saw a side of him no one else was privy to, but it meant little under the circumstances. She had shared stolen moments of passion with him, which, in any other situation, would have given her an insight into his person, but adrenaline had been pumping; emotions had been teetering on the edge. That night was not a prime example of normal circumstances in which you could learn someone's character.

Saying she _wanted _to know him was a completely different thing. Her dreams – waking and non – were testament to that. She took the elevator absentmindedly, over-analyzing things in her head. She stayed lost in her thoughts until she heard the ding signalling her arrival at her chosen floor. _Okay, Bella, just tell him what you know and walk away, _she thought as she quickly sighed. She looked down at the piece of paper that Siobhan had given her and didn't even notice Stefan walking out of his own room.

It was like a moment from a movie, except Stefan wasn't the character her own was destined to meet. Bella's eyes were trained on the piece of paper that was trembling in her grasp and Stefan's were fixed on his phone. The two noticed the other too late and had already collided, causing Bella to stumble slightly in the heels she had slipped on that morning.

Stefan's hands reached out automatically, but thankfully, she managed to right herself before any damage was done. She was a model after all; it was her job to be able to stay steady no matter what she was wearing on her feet. Even the thought of some of the things designers had tried to pass as shoes made her cringe.

However, after years of perfecting her walk and her poise, she found that she enjoyed wearing heels, loved the way they made her feel sexier and more confident when she walked. Plus, she thought, there was something about flitting busily through Paris, having continental food with variously important people, whilst wearing a well-known French designer – sometimes she felt like she'd stepped straight out of an old movie. But who was she kidding? If she were in a movie, she'd have been saved from evil and been loved effortlessly by the man who'd so sufficiently ensconced himself in both her heart and her head.

She shook her head. This was no movie, and she had to remember that; she had to stop trying to live a lie.

"Isabella?" She cringed again, unused to hearing her full name. The only person who was set on calling her that was gone. No, he was dead; she had to remind herself to call it as it was.

She raised her eyes from where they'd followed the path of Stefan's dropped phone and found a face full of concern and what looked like hope. _Why would he be hopeful?_

"Stefan." She nodded, almost afraid to talk to the guy who'd been forced into her situation even more so than Edward. She held an inner fear that both men would resent her for the way that night turned out, but at least one of those fears was unnecessary as Stefan smiled at her warmly.

His smile made him look even more handsome as it transformed his face, and unwanted thoughts infiltrated her mind. Edward was even more so, and it wasn't like Jasper was hard on the eyes. It wouldn't be highly surprising if the entire band had a string of women filtering through them. Bella's breathing quickened as she came to the realization – albeit, far too late – that Edward might not be alone in his hotel room. _Why would he be?_she thought in a panic. Suddenly, she didn't feel very well.

"Are you staying here?" Stefan's confused tone brought her out of her inner meltdown, and she looked back to find him looking at her strangely.

"No, I uh, I actually have to see Edward."

His eyes widened at her stuttered response, and almost immediately she berated herself for sounding like a nervous teenager. He probably thought there was something wrong.

"It's nothing like that, I just..." she trailed off with a sigh because she knew no matter how she phrased what her brain wanted to scream from the rooftops, she'd sound pathetic. "I just wanted to see him, tell him that Detective McCarty has been really great about everything. I'm almost one hundred percent sure that they're close to giving up the inquiry. They don't particularly care at this point, Stefan, not when they have no evidence at all."

Stefan saw the weariness in Bella's eyes as she spoke, but he also noticed the differences in her the second he realized who she was. She stood taller, she spoke with a confidence he was sure was only fabricated before. She had always been pretty, but even he could see that she looked better. It was obvious she was no longer afraid, and no longer tired of living her life.

He smiled internally, thankful that he could tell Edward that his fears were only based on an assumption. She wouldn't have been there to essentially assure them they'd gotten away with it if she hated him for what he'd done. There was something in the way she spoke Edward's name, came all this way to try and put his mind at ease, that told Stefan his best friend's feelings were reciprocated.

"He's not here...do you, uh, want to wait in the bar? I could sit with you if you want..." Stefan shrugged and scratched the back of his neck, unsure of what to say or do. The relief he felt over her statement was quickly sinking in, relaxing him and softening the edges of the fear he'd held for both himself and Edward.

Bella's face fell; she was sure it showed. She hadn't thought through past getting there. He wasn't there, and she had a previous engagement she couldn't miss, a business meeting to conclude her time in Paris. She _couldn't _wait around for him.

"Oh, I can't. I'm having lunch with Garrett in forty minutes," she replied somewhat sadly as she checked the time on her watch. She didn't even realize she had said Garrett's name until Stefan spoke up.

"Garrett?"

"Yeah, he was my photographer while I was here in Paris. Wait, didn't he work on your album?" Bella tried to play it down, tried to hide the fact that she knew he'd worked on their album. She didn't want Stefan to know she owned a copy, looked at the sleeve almost constantly, and fell asleep to the sound of Edward's voice more often than she could count.

Stefan swallowed back his disappointment when he nodded. All the plans he'd had to tell Edward that Bella felt the same way fell by the wayside. She was having lunch with Garrett, the same man who'd worked closely with the band only six months prior – the same man who'd riled Edward up to breaking point by constantly talking about Isabella Swan, how beautiful she was, how easy she was to work with, all the angles he'd captured her in.

Stefan knew Garrett had been completely innocent, just passing remarks on one of his favorite models to work with. He knew he'd meant no harm, not meant to be sleazy or creepy. Stefan could see he was a good man and was good at his job. Edward, however, had only seen red. It had taken hours of talking through Edward's room door at the hotel before he eventually calmed down enough to finish the shoot. He was sure that, to this day, Garrett still didn't know what he'd done to upset his client.

"Yeah, yeah, good guy. He was really creative with the art work. We were really pleased." Stefan hid his anxiety with a tight smile, but one look at Bella and he knew she'd noticed something was wrong.

It was suddenly awkward between the two, and Bella didn't understand why.

"Maybe I can come back tomorrow before I catch my flight? Or after the show tonight? I have tickets..." Bella trailed off, hopeful, but a shake of the head from Stefan made her brow furrow and her chest tighten.

"Why don't I just let him know? I can pass on the message. We'll be really busy tomorrow with press so I'm not sure he'd have time for you."

Stefan cringed, ashamed at the lie he had just told. He could see the damage it had done to Bella, knew that it had worked. She wouldn't be coming back. He'd ruined whatever preconception she'd come with. What he didn't understand was why she was so interested in seeing Edward when she was already with someone else; she had clearly moved on.

"Enjoy your lunch, Isabella. I'm afraid I have to catch up with Jasper. Maybe we'll bump into each other in L.A sometime?" Stefan made to move past her in the corridor, expertly avoiding her gaze.

"Yeah, sure, that'll happen," she said sarcastically. "Look, Stefan, I know we didn't meet under the best circumstances, but I came here in peace. There's no need to be an asshole. I don't know what just happened, but clearly you have some sort of problem with me. Good luck tonight. I'm sure you guys will sound great."

Despite the fact that she sounded hurt, Stefan applauded her in his head for keeping her cool and being the bigger person. He felt small and disgusted with himself for treating someone so good so badly. God knew she didn't deserve it. She was right. He was an asshole, but he couldn't tell her he was being so just to protect his best friend from a rejection he was sure would be the worst.

He couldn't tell Edward she'd come to see him, to reassure him – which would get his hopes up – just to tell him that she couldn't stick around because she was afraid of being late for her date. He couldn't tell her she was coming to their gig because he didn't know how Edward would handle seeing her again only to have to let her go.

As she made her way back to the elevator, he felt his own hopes diminish with every step she took away from him. When he'd realized who she was, hopes of Edward getting the girl he so desperately wanted resurfaced. He was imagining how great it would be to see his best friend truly happy and complete, until she burst the bubble he'd immersed himself in.

She'd moved on. She seemed happier and more confident in herself. He just wondered how it had been that much easier for her than it had been for Edward. Stefan had been there that night; he'd seen the way they'd been around each other. Granted, it wasn't for very long, but he remembered the way Edward looked at her, the way she angled herself towards him for both safety and comfort.

That type of instant connection didn't come around every day, so the only theory he could come up with was that Bella didn't want to be reminded of Alec. And Edward would certainly be the biggest reminder of all.

That night, he could tell Edward had sussed him out. Stefan hadn't deliberately tried to avoid him, but it seemed it had happened anyway. He caught his best friend looking at him on more than one occasion, and it was obvious to him that Edward knew there was something wrong.

Edward even said it himself. Was it possible that he knew Bella was near? Probably somewhere near the front row, or in a VIP box off to the side? With some words of encouragement, they managed to get Edward and his frayed nerves on stage as Stefan tried to forget the guilt he had over the biggest secret he'd ever kept from his best friend.

Bella was sure her heart hammered the entire time she stood in the crowd. Siobhan kept stealing glances at her out of the corner of her eye, but Bella felt frozen. He was so magnificent on stage, completely capturing the attention of every single person in the audience, even the ones who had been dragged along and weren't exactly fans.

His emotions were out there for everyone to touch, his darkest desires displayed for them all to see. She couldn't move as lyric after lyric washed over her. _Coming here was a bad idea,_she thought.

When the opening strains of Hurricane floated from his fingers on the frets of his guitar, she had to escape to the bathroom, where the walls only provided a dulling of the ache that was settling over her.

She'd listened to the whole album over and over; she knew what those lyrics were about. She just didn't understand why he'd written them. Was she being ridiculous when she hoped their separation was proving just as hard on him as it was her? She needed answers, but Stefan had made it clear that Edward wouldn't be interested in seeing her.

As she gathered her emotions and calmed her breathing, she decided that once they were all back on familiar ground, she'd find him in L.A and they would talk. She had to be strong enough for the outcome that Stefan was right and had only been saving her from getting hurt.

However, it wasn't enough to listen to Stefan, she needed to know for sure.

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><p><strong>Author's Chapter End Notes:<strong>

**So, what did we think?**

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	8. Closer to the Edge

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Hey all!**

**Super sorry for the delay - again. We posted our teaser for this chapter on our blog and then got so trapped in RL that we forgot we hadn't actually posted the chapter.**

**So it's a week late, and we're sorry we suck at keeping to our schedule. We will always try harder to get these chapters out to you. We appreciate you all sticking by us and love every single one of the reviews we get.**

**Thank you, and we hope you enjoy. From this chapter onwards, things are finally moving forwards between our E&B.**

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><p><strong><span>Chapter 7 - Closer to the Edge<span>**

As Edward sped down Highway 1 he felt his worries lift, and he'd even momentarily forgotten about Stefan's odd behavior. As he got closer to Montage Hotel, he felt a bundle of nerves settle in the pit of his stomach. He tried to convince himself that it was only because he and the guys would be talking details about the video for Hurricane – not the fact that the hotel he was heading to had once belonged to Alec.

He pulled up to the massive hotel and quickly handed his spare key to the waiting valet. When he walked through the opened door, he was asked if he needed help finding anything.

"Yes, I have a reservation at the Mosaic Bar and Grille. I'm meeting Benjamin Cubbins," Edward said with a confident and almost seemingly carefree voice as he slipped his Ray-Ban's from his eyes. It was a cocky move, but it had been perfected over the months he'd spent battling his insecurities.

"Right this way, sir," the young man at the door said. He headed off through the lobby toward the terrace where the restaurant was located, and Edward quietly followed.

He gaped at the grandness and the look of the hotel itself. He was impressed with the location and design of the structure and was surprised that something that Alec had owned could be so beautiful. His thoughts quickly went to Bella and how Alec had once had her. He thought of how beautiful she was even that night when he saved her life.

He discreetly shook his head to clear his thoughts and readied himself for business. When he arrived at the table on the terrace, Jasper was already there with Benjamin. The two men spoke like they had been longtime friends and laughed at a joke Jasper had just made. Their drinks arrived just as Edward reached the table.

"Ah, Edward! I'm glad that you were able to find this place. It's magnificent, isn't it?" Benjamin asked as he stood to shake Edward's hand. The warm breeze blowing through their similarly longer hair.

"Yes, it's in a great location, and it's beautiful," Edward replied, continuing the easy conversation they had going. He felt like he needed to clean out his mouth the moment the words were airborne. He shouldn't have been praising a dead man's hotel, standing in it without a care in the world.

Above all that, however, he again wondered how something that was truly beautiful – for he hadn't been lying – could belong to such a dangerous and vile man.

_Bella_, he sighed internally. For some reason even the thought of her made him feel like she was close by.

Jasper leaned toward Edward as soon as he'd sat down, asking if he'd seen Stefan or if he knew where he was.

"I'm sure he'll be here any minute," Edward said, taking a glance back toward the impressive hotel.

As the doors to the grand building opened outward, he saw the woman that had been haunting his dreams for almost a year. He did a double take and even tried shaking his head to see if he was imagining her, but there she was, Isabella Swan, holding a clip board and speaking to some of the employees.

She was standing by the large reception desk, her hip rested against the wood, her slender legs crossed at the ankles. Edward's eyes perused her hungrily, his mind completely leaving him as his heart began to hammer. Even from such a distance he could see her clearly, could feel what her presence could do to him.

Strangely, the last time he had felt like that, it had been before their concert in Paris. Something told him it had been more than him simply knowing she was in the same city. Was it possible she'd been to see them perform? Been that close and not let him know? Had she known every song he sang had been about her?

She looked beautiful – of course she did – but something about her had changed. The way she held herself so confidently, talking to the gathered men around her, made her seem sexier. Her clothes did nothing to conceal her amazing body, and Edward felt himself flush at the memory of having that creamy skin beneath his hands.

Her blouse was silk and tight in all the right places, her pencil skirt hugged her delectable curves, and her shoes were the kind Edward knew he'd want her to keep on should they ever find themselves alone and naked.

Willing away his rock-hard erection, he quickly turned his head away as he tried to engross himself back into the conversation. Instead, his mind was adamant that thoughts of Isabella would not be quashed. They swirled around with the coincidence, thrill, and suffocating pain of seeing her again without warning.

_Of course there would be a chance of running into her here. The hotel belonged to Alec, and if she's running Volterra Modeling now, why wouldn't she be running his hotel chain, too? _he thought almost happily, like this revelation made being in _his_hotel better.

Edward had been so distracted by his thoughts, he didn't notice when Stefan arrived. It took Stefan bumping into him to bring him from his thoughts. He shot Edward a look, silently asking him if all was well, and he shook his head to say it was nothing.

They began to talk about details of the video and were bouncing ideas back and forth about what it could contain. For a minute Benjamin stared off into the distance, and it seemed as if he had zoned out. The guys waited silently for his reply on their ideas when all of a sudden he sprang back into the conversation, having turned the information around in his head until he could mesh all of their creative outlets.

"I've got it!" he exclaimed, exuding life and energy, his eyes sparkling. He said it loud enough to have people from other tables, and the bartender a few feet away, stare at him oddly.

Edward found himself wondering if Isabella had heard Benjamin, if she even knew he was there, sitting so close to her. Would she come over, enquire into how he was doing? Would she begin picturing them together, a tangled mess of naked limbs? Would she want him as desperately as he did her?

"Picture this," Ben continued, breaking Edward from his obsessive thoughts. "New York City in the middle of the night. There's a storm brewing in the skies, and there's thunder rumbling in the distance. The lightning flashes and hits the top of a skyscraper, and the film begins," he said with light dancing in his eyes.

"Film?" Edward asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious. He was no actor. He had to hide his discomfort every time they shot a music video. He'd lost count of how many they'd done; how many singles had they released over the years?

"Yes, we'll shoot the music video like a film, a movie. We can go scouting for locations to use and make the video a visual plethora of your ideas. We can make it like a dream or nightmare; a fantasy where all your ideas can come together and exist!" he explained excitedly before he pulled out a notepad and began to jot things down.

Ben looked across toward the bar once again, and just when the guys thought they had lost him to his thoughts once again, he began writing furiously. Stefan and Jasper were talking quietly, heads bent together, but Edward was paying little attention because he knew she was in the room. He didn't know when she had arrived, but he was sure she was at the bar, clipboard in hand and the barman beside her.

Edward had to fight the urge to turn around, to stare, to lust. He'd want to whisk her away to one of the many luxurious rooms above them and ravish her thoroughly. Even in the outcome of her resisting, he saw himself grabbing her, taking her away and proving just how much she wanted him.

Benjamin noticed Edward was lost in his thoughts, and he'd also seen the moment his newest client had laid eyes on Isabella Swan. He could tell it wasn't the first time – there was a difference between being taken aback by the beauty in front of him, and the way Edward's eyes had re-familiarized themselves with Isabella's form. Yes, Benjamin could tell, he was good at reading people and their feelings. Edward wasn't hiding his want, or his pain, very well.

That was what stumped Ben. He couldn't understand the panic and hurt he saw behind Edward's gaze. Something had happened between the two, and it definitely hadn't left Edward better off. _I wonder why they're not together_; thought Benjamin, _there's clearly something there._

Once the table re-organized itself, each man coming back to the present, it was obvious they were warming up to the idea of a fantasy world being created for the video and for New York to become their dreamscape.

Benjamin waited patiently for Edward's eyes to refocus, time in which Stefan noticed his best friend's preoccupation for the first time, before asking, "How do you interpret the lyrics in Hurricane? It must mean something different to each one of you guys, right? "Because let me tell you, every time I listen to that song I can't help but feel that there's some sort of underlining sexual tension to it. So if you guys are okay with it, I'd like to explore that and maybe add something about it into the video. What do you guys think?"

They looked between one another before Stefan spoke up, "I think I speak for all of us when I say I think it's a brilliant idea. Obviously, we'd like the chance to say no if what you bring to us isn't something we're comfortable with, but we've heard of and seen your work, Ben, and we can't wait to be a part of that."

"Of course, of course, I'm confident it will work. I'll start right away. We'll need locations and models..." he trailed off as his ideas overwhelmed again and Stefan decided their meeting was over.

He was angry that Edward had barely participated, like he hadn't cared enough to give some input, but the second he stood and turned, he knew why Edward had been so quiet.

Bella returned to L.A. the day after the concert in Paris. She saw the rave reviews about their performance and was genuinely happy that Edward had been able to find an outlet for the night that had changed both their lives. Before she was able to give anymore thought to that night, she became insanely busy because Alec's lawyers were insisting that Bella herself began running Alec's Hotels.

When she had a meeting with the hotel management staff, she told them her situation and asked for any pointers in running a five-star hotel. The staff was eager to communicate their ideas, because Alec never once cared about what any of his employees had to say. Next thing Bella knew, she was traveling to the different hotel locations every other weekend and mainly trying to run things from home or from Volterra with the help of Siobhan and Alice. Alice spent a lot more time with Bella, and they each were able to help one another a lot more than before; when Bella's girls needed a job, Alice would need models for her new line, or vice versa.

One afternoon, while Bella worked on her plans to visit the Laguna Beach location of Montage Hotels to speak to the staff and make sure that everything was running smoothly, Alice burst through her office door with two iced coffees in her hands.

"Bella, you'll never guess what happened to me today!" she said, sounding overly cheerful for working as much as she usually did.

Bella took a sip of her Chai Crème Frappuccino as she gestured for her best friend to continue. Alice took that minute to make sure the door was closed and then sat down.

"I met this guy, and you wouldn't even believe how great it was. It was yesterday at the same Starbucks I went to today. I was standing in line waiting to pay and he was a few people behind me. When I went to sit down he asked me if he could join me. I, of course, didn't have a good reason to turn him away so I nodded; we ended up sitting for two hours talking to one another. He is so amazing," she gushed, and Bella hid her grin behind her coffee mug. "You just have to meet him because I swear I might marry him!" she finished with a dramatic sigh and slid lower in her armchair.

"Wow, you got all that just from sitting with the guy for two hours?" Bella asked, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. In her opinion, Alice was in love with the _idea _of love, rather than falling in love. It was the one thing they didn't see eye-to-eye on, simply because Bella was set on finding the real thing. She'd come so close at one point, but that hadn't worked out at all.

"Oh, and I didn't even tell you the best part! He plays drums in a band! I'm telling you, Bella. I'm pretty sure that this guy is 'the one," she said, emphasizing her point by using air quotations.

"Alice, wasn't the last guy that was 'the one' that guy who ended up outside of your house in nothing but his boxers with a bruise on his jaw because he cheated on you with your personal assistant?" Bella ignored how her friend's face fell and continued with her best interests at heart. "I'm just trying to say that I would be a bit more careful about the next relationship you go into before turning all fangirl on him just because he's some drummer in a band," Bella said looking across the desk.

"Do you think Edward could be the one for you?" Alice asked, completely turning the tables on her friend.

"Those are completely different circumstances. I don't know how you can even say something like that when we both know he wants nothing to do with me."

"We can't possibly know that for sure, Bella."

"Oh, but I do. You didn't see the look in his eyes, Alice. He told me that kissing me was a mistake," Bella answered, fighting the tears that were beginning to pool in her eyes and blur her vision.

After sleeping in, Bella decided to make her way to the last of Alec's hotels that she had been working on maintaining. As she got ready, she felt some sort of nervousness build in her about heading to Laguna Beach.

She drove as calmly as she could south on the 405, trying to not let her unexplained nerves get the best of her. She didn't understand why she was feeling that way. She knew her visit to the hotel was just like the rest, but something inside her told her this trip was going to be different, creating a feeling of almost anticipation.

After getting caught in traffic due to an accident, she finally made it. She still couldn't believe that Alec had left her everything. Now, despite having help with Volterra and getting feedback and help with managing the hotels, she still couldn't help but feel out of place when attending meetings and the like about his – _her_– companies.

She reached for her clipboard with suggestions from the other hotels as she basked in the grandness of the hotel. Alec had really outdone himself with this one; the location, the natural beauty surrounding it. It was the perfect getaway only an hour from L.A.

As soon as she entered the building she was approached by the general manager and they got to work. She received feedback from the reception staff, and she quickly made her way through the rest of the hotel. When she approached the bar in the terrace, her senses went haywire. Her skin flushed with the feeling that someone was watching her, but it wasn't a regular reaction. She knew it wasn't just anyone; it was the same man who saved her life all those months ago...the man she swore now hated her.

She tried ignoring her body's response, focusing on her work and the task at hand. She could tell out of the corner of her eye, that he was with Stefan and two other men that she didn't recognize. She hadn't realized that they were back in L.A., but then again they could have easily just flown in for the week. She nodded at all the right times and pretended to write notes into her clipboard as she continued talking to the main bartender.

Before she knew it, Edward and his friends were getting up to leave. She wanted to say something to him, but she just didn't know how to go about it. She didn't know if Stefan had even mentioned that she'd tried going to see him at his hotel.

Nevertheless, she held her head high and braced herself for the possibility of Edward trying to speak to her. _I have to be strong_, she reminded herself. But as the table was cleared, the boys from Fascinate headed for the exit. She chanced a look toward them, and it almost looked as if Stefan was guiding Edward toward the exit. _Well that was easy,_she thought.

She was about to walk back into the massive structure when she was approached by a man. She recognized him as one of Edward's companions. She wondered who he was, but smiled at him as he stepped closer.

"Excuse me, are you Isabella Swan?" he asked with a hint of an accent.

"Yes?" she said, hating how it sounded like a question.

"I'm Benjamin Cubbins." He stretched his arm out to shake her hand. "I'm not sure if you've heard of me, but I'm a film and video director."

She thought she'd heard the name somewhere. "Yes, I do believe I've heard of you. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I'm not sure if you noticed who I was with earlier, but I will be directing Fascinate's latest video, and I would like to see if you are available to make a cameo in the video?" he asked, motioning toward a pair of empty seats.

Clearly, he was ready to talk business with her, so she sat down. "Are you sure this would be okay with the band? I mean, have you all spoken about casting me?" she asked, her voice sounding an octave higher with each question.

"Oh, I'm sure it's quite alright," he said, winking at her. "In fact, they were speaking of how great your campaign with Chanel has been; I'm sure they would be delighted to have you on board!"

"O-okay, if they are on board with the idea, then sure. I'd love to be part of this project. Just send the details to Volterra, and I will make sure to clear my schedule when I know when and where you're planning to film," she said, sounding unsure.

"Brilliant! I'll be sending you the details as soon as I have them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find a flight to New York to begin scouting for locations. Thank you. It was lovely meeting you."

Shaking her hand once more, he turned and left. Fancying himself a match maker, Benjamin walked out of the hotel with a spring in his step and looking forward to directing this video more than before.

Bella remained sitting as she watched him walk away. Why did she accept the offer to be in this video? Was she some sort of sado-masochist for accepting this job? It wasn't like she had been in a shortage of work since the Chanel Ad fell into her lap. However, she knew that this video may be the only chance she would have to ever be close to Edward again, and she had to take that step.

She had to step closer to the edge, for him.

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><p><strong>Author's Chapter End Notes:<strong>

**Yes! Bella has decided enough is enough, she can't stay away from him anymore and she's not going to take any of his bullshit! Bring it on :)**

**Let us know what you think, and don't forget, you can subscribe to our blog - www . thehurricaneblog . webs . com for teasers and picteases :D**

**See you next week!**

**X**


	9. Where the Streets Have No Name

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Have no fear, chapter 8 is here! **

**Hope you all managed to check out the teaser over on the blog :D And thank you to everyone who reviewed, we hope we didn't miss anyone when replying. We love you all.**

**Onwards. Lots more Edward and things are progressing...**

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><p><span>Chapter 8 - Where the Streets Have No Name<span>

Edward was pretty much escorted out of the hotel by Stefan to prevent him from running to Bella and making a scene. Seeing her again made his body feel alive, and made him feel like he _had_to be closer to her.

Once they reached their respective cars, Edward asked Stefan and Jasper if they wanted to hang out at his place, knowing – in part – how much Charlotte had missed all of them. He knew that it would give him a reason to actually go home and not stick around waiting for Bella to leave. Jasper said he had a date with a girl he'd met in a Starbucks, and Edward and Stefan simultaneously rolled their eyes.

Ignoring them, Jasper turned and ducked into his car. He honked at them as he sped past, knowing he was already running late and not waiting for his friends to wave, since they were too busy laughing at him anyway.

"So what about you? You coming over?" Edward asked. "I know that Char will be thrilled to see you. She's been asking about you guys nonstop since I've been home."

"Yeah, sure. We can try and catch up while we're at it," Stefan said, beginning to walk to his own car.

The drive back toward L.A. seemed to take longer than the drive to Laguna Beach, his heart feeling heavier the more miles he put between himself and Bella.

It was for the best, he told himself over and over. He cranked up the radio in an effort to drown out his thoughts of her, and tried to concentrate wholly on the road.

He was glad to be heading home otherwise. He had spent the last few days with Charlotte and his grandparents watching old movies and simply lounging around his house. It felt good to be home, but he found it odd that Stefan hadn't stopped by since they had gotten back into town.

He drove up his driveway first, and as he opened the door, Charlotte came rushing toward him.

"So, are they coming?" she asked anxiously.

Edward laughed. "Wow, thanks. Nice to see you, too. No, Jasper isn't coming today, he said he had a date."

Her face fell slightly. "Oh, I just wanted all of you here together so I could plan the next family breakfast."

"Well, I'll get Jasper's lazy ass here soon, don't you worry," he answered, kissing her forehead before walking in.

A few minutes after Edward had settled into the living room and had begun playing his guitar, there was a knock on the door, shortly followed by Stefan walking in.

"Hey, man, that sounds good. Is that a new song?" he asked Edward.

"Nah, just something I've been playing with. It's nothing concrete yet," he explained.

"Oh, cool. So where's Char?"

"Char! The prodigal son has returned!" Edward yelled toward the kitchen.

Stefan laughed and playfully punched Edward's arm just as Charlotte walked in from the kitchen.

"Now, now, boys, play nicely. Hi, sweetie, how are you?" Charlotte asked as she hugged Stefan.

"I'm doing well, Char. Were things quiet without us here?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oddly quiet, but it's always that way when you boys are gone. It's okay, though, Esme and Carlisle visited a few times."

"I'm glad that mister and missus Cullen were able to come and visit with you. That way you aren't so alone. You think Eddie should get some additional help for you? Maybe someone to keep you company?" Stefan asked thoughtfully.

"Oh goodness, no! I can handle this house by myself, and I certainly don't need the company of someone I don't know, but thank you for thinking of me. Now, if you boys will excuse me I'm going to start working on dinner. Anything in particular you want, or do you want me to surprise you?" Charlotte asked.

Edward and Stefan looked at one another and answered, 'surprise us!' at the same time. They heard Charlotte laugh as she disappeared into the kitchen, and after a minute, Edward couldn't help but notice the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between him and his best friend.

"Edward, there's no easy way of saying this. I know you've noticed I've been a bit different, but you have to let me explain what it is and why. I just hope that once we're done talking, you don't stay mad at me for too long."

"Man, spit it out, it can't be that bad." Edward laughed nervously, not knowing quite what to expect. His nerves spiked when he watched Stefan visibly prepare himself for whatever he was about to say.

Stefan stood up, pacing back and forth while rubbing his hands on his jeans. After a few minutes he stopped and looked towards Edward as if he were ready to speak, but then began pacing again.

Eventually, he got it out. "Isabella came looking for you in Paris the day you went to the Louvre."

Edward stared at him, his mouth agape. After a minute of intense staring between the two, Edward gestured for Stefan to continue.

"I was leaving our hotel room to meet up with Jasper when I ran into her. She said she was looking for you, but I told her you weren't around. I said I'd wait with her down at the bar until you got back, but she said she had to meet up with Garrett for lunch. I was pretty sure they're dating and I just wanted to protect you..." he trailed off, afraid of how Edward would react.

"Wait, why did she want to see me if she's dating Garrett?" Edward asked, rolling his eyes. It wasn't unheard of for a girl to go looking for a guy without there being some deeper meaning behind it. He had to hide his mounting anger and jealousy over the thought of Garrett and Bella together.

"She said something about that detective, um, detective McCarty not having any leads in the investigation. So she wanted to let you know, to ease any worries, I guess," Stefan explained.

Edward put his head between his knees and tried to control his shallow breaths. When Stefan made to touch him, he abruptly stood up and walked out. Sefan followed him to the back yard, not knowing what to say, waiting anxiously for Edward to speak.

Edward wanted to punch him for keeping that little piece of information from him, but more than that, he wanted to return to Laguna Beach and ask Bella why she had gone looking for him if she had clearly moved on. Sure, he thought that Garrett was a good guy, but he wanted to be the person she went home to at the end of the day. The thought of Garrett getting that privilege instead of him made him even more upset than his friend's revelation.

He stared down at the Koi swimming carelessly in his massive pond as he slumped back down into his chair and pondered his next words. Before he could say anything, Charlotte peeked though the back door and stepped into the garden.

"The food is ready, boys. Come and eat before it gets cold," she said with a soft smile.

As Edward nodded, some of his own lyrics came into his head.

_I will never regret, I will never forget, I will live my life._

That's exactly how he was going to handle it. He would never regret saving her life. He would never forget that night, but he would keep living his life despite anything else.

He stood up and looked at Stefan before saying, "I completely understand why you wouldn't want to tell me. I honestly hope that she finds happiness... even if it's not with me."

Edward didn't wait for Stefan to respond or acknowledge him before walking inside.

The next few weeks flew by. Edward had been so busy on the phone and having video chats over Skype with Benjamin over the locations for _Hurricane, _that he finally decided to make the trip out to New York to see how the ideas for the video were coming along.

Things with Stefan were still on shaky ground. Edward understood why his best friend had done what he had, but he couldn't understand the nagging feeling that there was more to why Bella had been there. He eventually managed to bury it deep inside along with his false hopes of ever being with her.

The flight to New York had been uneventful, and Benjamin was there waiting with a car when he arrived. The only stop they made on their way was to Edward's hotel to check in and leave his things. It wasn't long before his head was preoccupied with area scouting and extra casting.

Benjamin had really run with the idea of there being underlying sexual tension in the song. He wanted to show the kinkier side of sex, and the violence that there could be in it. He began writing how he wanted elements of BDSM added to the video; whips, chains, the latex outfits, and the masks. He wanted all of it. When Ben suggested Edward have a part in the video he wasn't sure, but after Ben pitched him _his _part, he was excited about it all. He felt that the song and the video could be interpreted as a dreamscape, a nightmare, a fantasy world, and something that wouldn't be part of anyone's reality.

After agreeing with Benjamin that they would show Central Park, Manhattan, and the Brooklyn Bridge in the video, they finally called it a night. Stefan and Jasper would be arriving next week, and then the video would finally be filmed. They wouldn't find out which models had been cast until the start of filming, but he already trusted the man with his choices. That night, Edward didn't have to do anything to help him fall asleep. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was cocooned in darkness.

As the next week went by, Edward fell in love with New York. He found the city to be calming to him. Despite the hustle and bustle, he was able to take time to appreciate the skyscrapers and the art and beauty that surrounded him. Somehow, it made him feel more at peace with himself. He managed to squeeze in a few hours at the Museum of Sex, and looked for any ideas on anything that would help with the video. He took lots of notes and by the time he left the museum, he felt that when he showed his ideas to Benjamin, they would continue with their planning and would possibly change a few things.

Meetings and planning with Ben filled up his time, and because the city was so busy during the day, they both felt it was better to film the video at night. Edward spent his last remaining free nights visiting the sights, and taking in as much of the city as he could. He felt the energy in the air, and knew deep down that it would be perfect for his backdrop to _Hurricane._

Monday came around. All the extras and love interests were cast, and all Edward had left to do was get the guys at the airport so they could begin filming that night. Their goal was to shoot the entire thing within the next three nights, and everyone was hoping that there would be minimal problems involved.

Things had been so extremely hectic at the offices of _Volterra_that when the information for the music video came in to Bella's office, she initially ignored it. At the end of the evening she stared at the package on her desk and wondered when it had arrived.

"Siobhan? Do you know what this package is?" she called out to her assistant.

Siobhan entered Bella's office and sat down, "which packet?" she asked looking up from her PDA.

Bella held up the one in question with a raised eyebrow.

"If I'm not mistaken, that's the packet from Benjamin Cubbins about that new music video for you," Siobhan replied. "Is that all you need me for? I have a dinner meeting with the CEO of Victoria's Secret. Apparently one of their models is pregnant and they need a temp. Unless said model decides not to return, and hopefully one of our girls will get the spot."

"Okay, knock 'em dead! Oh, you should push for Carmen, it's been a while since we got her a good gig, okay?" Bella answered automatically, her attention focused on the packet in front of her.

"Sure thing, boss!" Siobhan replied as she walked out the door.

Once Bella was alone, she ran her finger underneath the edge of the packet and tore it open. The envelope contained the payment offer, a round-trip ticket to New York, and various contract sheets detailing what her roll would be in the video. She dropped it all back on her desk as she read exactly what was involved. Surely Edward didn't want her to play his love interest? She knew there had to be a mistake.

She picked up her office phone and called the number that was given to her by Benjamin, needing to find out if it was a mistake before accepting or declining the offer.

The phone rang four times before his voicemail answered. "Hi, you've reached Ben. I'm not currently available, but if you leave your name, number and information, I'll return your call as soon as I can. Thank you!"

Bella left a message and asked him to call her back as soon as he got it, leaving her cell number and hanging up. It was getting late, so she picked up the information and decided to go home.

She was driving down the Pacific Coast Highway when her phone rang. She quickly put her Bluetooth headset in her ear and answered the call to Alice's happy voice as she went on and on about her new boyfriend and how perfect he was. She asked Bella if she wanted to meet up for drinks near the end of their conversation, but Bella respectfully declined, stating that she was too tired.

When she arrived back in Malibu, she took no time in kicking off her heels and pouring herself some iced tea straight from her fridge. With a satisfied sigh, and her toes nestled amongst the cushions of her oversized couch, she emptied the contents of the manila envelope onto the coffee table in front of her.

After reviewing the contents for what seemed like hours, she finally packed it up and decided to go to bed. That night she dreamt of different scenarios where she saw Edward again, the way he reacted, and how he would reject her over and over again.

The next morning, she listened to the song on repeat, reviewing the pieces of the story that were given to her on the music video, trying to picture where they had gotten the ideas, and how her part would play out. She hadn't even realized how long she'd been sitting there listening to the album, until her phone rang and made her jump.

Siobhan was never a person to try and figure out people's private lives, yet sometimes they came into the open. Like reading books, Siobhan could read people, and in knowing Bella, she knew that Bella was never a person to be late or not show up without calling. When ten o'clock came around, she began getting worried and considered driving out to her place. Instead she called her to make sure that she was okay.

"Hello?" Bella answered sounding breathless.

"Hi, Bella, I didn't mean to interrupt anything," Siobhan quickly backtracked.

"No, it's okay. The phone just scared me that's all," she replied.

"Oh! I was just wondering if you were planning to come in today or if I should just cancel your meetings and say you're taking a personal day?"

"No, I'll be coming in. In fact, I need you to get Benjamin Cubbins on the phone for me. If you happen to get him before I reach the office, you'll need to patch him through to my cell. I really need to speak to him before I accept or decline this offer, okay?"

"Okay, I'll have your breakfast waiting for you so you'll get here faster. Ready? Go!" Siobhan laughed as she hung up.

Bella finally got out of bed, collected all the paperwork that Benjamin had sent her, and put it all once again in the envelope. She hurried to get ready and jumped into her car, ready to speed down to the office. She was about to enter the elevator when Siobhan called saying she'd finally been able to get Benjamin on the phone for her. She hurried up to her floor and ran into her office as she yelled to Siobhan to transfer the call.

"Benjamin, glad to finally be able to get you on the phone," Bella greeted.

"Yes, well such is the life of a busy director. What can I do for you, Miss Swan?"

"I just wanted to know if Edward knows about the part I'm playing in this music video, and if he does, is he okay with it?" she asked, almost cautiously.

"He does. In fact, he just walked in the door if you'd like to ask him yourself," he replied briskly.

"No, no, that's okay. If he's fine with the part, then I have no problem with it either. I'll see you in New York tomorrow. Good bye."

There was finally no way out of it. Bella had agreed to do this music video, and she couldn't back out of it anymore. She informed Siobhan about the contract and how she'd be leaving for New York the next day. The day went on without any incidents. Her meetings were suddenly long and dull, and she couldn't wait for the next day to arrive.

When her work day was done, an unfamiliar feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. This man had been there when she was at her worst; when she'd fallen apart. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face him now that she had gotten back up, in fear that he'd just make her fall back down again.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Chapter End Notes:<strong>

**We're off to New York in the next one! Our couple will finally be back together!**

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**See you over there! xx**


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